Sensing Magic
by jaqtkd
Summary: Merlin can't work out why Morgana has changed so much since she returned. One intense encounter with her answers that question, but also manages to change Fate's direction which, Merlin knows from previous experience, is not good news. AU of Series 3 & 4. Book Cover by MildeAmasoj
1. Chapter 1

**Sensing Magic**

Again! Just as it seemed that Morgana's mission was complete, just as she was one step closer to completing her sister's plan, there was ... an accident. Time and time again; a storm blows a window out, the roof caves in, Morgause's fireball explodes and then, not always - but most times, Morgana would turn around and see ... him. Just standing there looking gormless. Acting so innocent, letting someone else take all the credit and, if it wasn't for the fact that Morgause had said that she could sense no power from him, Morgana would have been convinced that all those 'accidents' were magic.

Not that Merlin was entirely innocent. She knew that he had foiled many of their plans; there was not enough evidence to connect him to every failure perhaps, but it must have been him that had destroyed the staff - if for no other reason than the look he'd thrown her way when Uther had given her the credit for it: and Merlin knew she had magic - as did Gaius - so he had enough information at his fingertips to understand that she had been the source of the sleeping enchantment, knew what the mandrake root was doing to Uther, knew that she had had something to do with Elyan's kidnap. If he had magic it would all make sense but, he didn't. Not only could Morgause always sense such things in other people but Morgana had never once seen Merlin use it. All the tight spots he'd been in, the number of times he'd been sentenced to death, the chores she'd seen him doing for Arthur day in and day out. No, but ... there was something about him. That was what Morgause had said that time in the woods, wasn't it?

How had he escaped those chains? Morgause had been baffled. She had said that the most powerful sorcerer in the world would not have been able to escape such a personal enchantment; her spell had been like a complex lock and only a being with the gifts of the Old Religion would hold the cypher to dissolve it. He must have someone looking out for him, protecting him, that was the only logical answer. But why? Why would a powerful magical being feel the need to protect a lowly serving boy.

And here she was again. In an empty area deep below the palace, with the special statue that Morgause had enchanted and, all she had to do was pour some liquid on and set it alight - the strongest of her gradually developing talents - and all the men in the palace would be enchanted into obedience. Then they would have to do exactly what they were told and so Morgause could calmly walk in, unchallenged by any of the soldiers and unmatched by any of the other females, and they could take control of the castle with no unnecessary bloodshed.

She poured on the liquid with a gleeful smile.

"Morgana! Stop!" She spun around to see Merlin rushing in, his great haste forcing him to slide across the stone floor. She placed down the bottle and picked up her sword in one swift movement quickly closing the gap between them.

"Again!" It was half spoken, half shrieked as she pushed the point of the sword against his chest.

"I warned you. I promised I would do anything to protect my friends." Why was he not scared? His eyes bore right through her and the only emotions she could read were anger and pity, which just made her even more furious. She pushed the point just a little bit harder. He flinched, but only slightly.

"I should kill you," she spat. He frowned, his eyes never left hers and it was making her strangely uncomfortable.

"Why haven't you?" She pulled the point away from him a little whilst she pondered this. Why hadn't she? It should be easier to kill him than to kill Arthur or Gwen, especially after he'd poisoned her and yet the thought of Uther, Arthur or Gwen's death excited her, whereas killing Merlin felt ... wrong. She shook her head at that strange thought and pulled the sword back purposefully, turning the point slightly to the right and thrust it towards his heart. Time seemed to slow as their eyes locked and he tipped his head at her curiously. It felt like the sword was travelling through thick soup, and her arm felt heavy. The point froze as it touched his tatty blue top and the sword clattered to the floor. If she hadn't been looking straight into his eyes and seen them remain stubbornly blue throughout, she would have been certain he'd cast a spell on her.

"Morgana?" He said it quietly, in a worried tone, just as if it were two years ago when she had confessed her magic to him. "What is it? I don't understand how you've changed so much."

"It's all your fault." She cursed herself for the way those words sounded; as if she were five years old.

"No, I don't think so. I thought perhaps I was to blame for some of it but ... This isn't you, I know it isn't."

"You know _nothing_," she snarled. She started back towards the statue and smiled. Perhaps she couldn't kill him but, once this enchantment had been cast she could get him to do anything she liked. But he was there again. He grabbed her shoulders and pushed her roughly away from the table and she pushed back. She wished she could control her magic to throw him across the room as she had that time in her chambers, but her power was still instinctive and he had now got hold of her wrists again, and she found that couldn't summon any sort of strength to push him away.

He wasn't that strong, surely? He was just skin and bones, but still he continued to push her away from the table until she felt her back slam against the cold hard wall. He grabbed her wrists hard.

"Let go of me!" she screamed but he just shook his head. His blue eyes close to hers, frowning slightly as if he was trying to read the small print of a book.

"Perhaps Morgause has enchanted you." He said it quietly, thoughtfully, as if talking to himself. "That would explain so much. If I could only work out how to ..." He stopped abruptly and then she did see fear in his face, although she was sure she hadn't caused it.

"Of course she hadn't enchanted me, that's ridiculous."

"She's a powerful sorceress, you're not. Then there's this strange bond between you. Did I hear her call you sister once? Is that the blood type or the Blood Guard type?"

"Who are you to say I'm not powerful? Haven't you experienced my magic first hand? Would you like another taste of that?"

Again the look on his face surprised her. He was amused by that thought. It entertained him. She twisted her wrists trying to pull them out of his grasp and for a split second he struggled. He ducked his head as he stepped one foot back and pushed her back up against the wall and moved even closer to her. She felt something then. A flicker of warmth. Had she found that magical force that would allow her to push back? No, because she felt drained of all energy; weaker not stronger. She looked up at him and he was now looking back at her. His nerves had returned. Why? What was that warmth she had felt a moment ago? She wriggled again but she knew it was half hearted. He pushed back and swallowed hard, his head slightly shaking, his eyes not quite staying on hers.

Then they met hers again and he very, very subtly licked his lips. They both froze as they realised that this now had nothing to do with magic. Not sorcerer's magic anyway.

She shook her head too. No, she hated him. He'd poisoned her and ruined every one of their plans. He wasn't even that attractive - not really. Well, those eyes were rather ... and his smile. Then there were those cheeks and the way he ... She had no idea which one of them had moved forward first but suddenly their lips touched, a surprisingly gentle kiss before he pulled away abruptly. His eyes were even wider now; numerous emotions displayed there. She recognised them all because she was feeling the same; confusion, fear, disgust ... lust. He had taken a small step back whilst still holding her wrists, so she took the next step back towards him and kissed him again, more passionately this time, and it felt so good that she didn't even notice the pain as he pushed her back up against the wall. The torches she'd lit in the room flared so brightly that she could sense it through her closed eyelids. With any luck she'd set light to the statue too and the enchantment would be cast. Her natural magic always flared during high emotions and this was certainly one of those occasions. His hands had slightly loosened their grip on her wrists just enough for her to pull them out. Good, now she could push him away, hit him or something.

She was surprised to discover that she'd thrown them around his shoulders instead.

This had to stop. The magic in the room was now so thick that even she could sense it. Morgause had said that, once released in a controlled way for the first time, the learning process would quicken, even if it would be many, many more years before she could do what her sister could. They were still kissing, it was wonderful ... it was wrong ... on so many levels. They hated each other. She was the King's daughter, the future Queen - he was just a serving boy. On that thought she pulled away abruptly and slapped him across the face with the back of her hand that was wearing a jewelled ring. Merlin yelped and put a hand to his cheek to find it bleeding. He glared at her, although she suspected that the disgust she saw on his face was as much about the kiss as it was about her slap, and she quickly took the initiative, focused on the statue, just behind Merlin and concentrated.

"Forbærne." She laughed as she saw Merlin's eyes widen in fear at the sight of her glowing eyes and he turned quickly towards the statue in time to see it glow green and omit a pulse of magical energy. Morgana braced herself against the magical shock wave and was surprised to see that Merlin also reeled. From shock, or pain? Perhaps that cut was deeper than she'd thought. Anyway, the enchantment was complete, all the men in the castle were under her spell and Morgause would also have sensed that pulse and be making her way here. She turned her attention back to Merlin, delighted at the feeling of power she now had.

"Kneel, Merlin," she commanded.

"What?" He looked at her incredulously. She held out a hand.

"Kneel at my feet."

"Ah, the kiss wasn't that good, Morgana. You don't think because of that I'd do what you say, do you?" He looked amused and baffled at the same time. Her eyes desperately sought the statue; still glowing green.

"I don't understand." He followed her gaze.

"What was it supposed to do?"

"Supposed? No, it worked, I can feel it." He frowned and shook his head again. Numerous emotions playing on his face again. Now what was going on in that strangely attractive head? Suddenly his voice took on a more commanding tone.

"Who were you trying to control?" It was spoken quietly but it was a command. Ridiculous, the boy telling her what to do. She would not answer his question.

"All the men ..." She shook her head, confused. Why had she answered him?

"The men?" Merlin repeated, deep in thought. "I see."

"So, you're perhaps a girl in disguise?" The edges of his mouth flicked into a ghost of a smile.

"You sound just like Arthur." She almost laughed at that. Instead she approached him quickly, and this time he did back away.

"How, Merlin? Why are you always here? How do you always manage to escape?"

"Why do you even have to ask?"

"It's not magic. I can sometimes sense it in others. Morgause always can and she says you have none." Merlin opened his mouth and then shut it. He smiled slightly, frowned slightly, shook his head and appeared to be trying to stop himself laughing.

"That explains a lot," he said eventually.

"What? What are you going on about?"

"Morgana, come here." It was another command and she took a step towards him before she knew what she was doing.

"No." She pulled herself to a stop, it was one of the hardest things she'd ever done. He held out a hand towards her, fingers slightly apart, palm turned up towards her.

"Come. Here." She started forward again. This was wrong, the spell should have given her this power, not him. She looked at him terrified. "Don't be afraid, I'm not going to hurt you. Look at me, Morgana, really look. Closer." She took another step. Despite everything, she suddenly had the strange urge to kiss him again.

"Merlin, I don't understand. How are you doing this?"

"I'm not doing anything, just trying to understand something. Last year, when Morgause took you away, what happened?" Yet again, she was unable to resist. She started to tell the story again, how she'd been kept in a prison on her own, how afraid she was. "No!" She looked at Merlin baffled. How could such a skinny, clumsy servant talk with such authority? How could she look into his eyes now and feel scared at what she saw?

"I don't ... that's what happened."

"No, it isn't. Again ..."

"I-I woke up ... Morgause told me she'd cured me after you'd poisoned me then she started to talk to me, teach me things."

"You weren't a prisoner. Well, I knew that. I knew that was just a story for Uther and the others. I know why you want the king dead, I know why you thought you wanted me dead. Why do you want Arthur dead?"

"I ..."

"Why?" Again a strong pull towards him like a rope around a waist, whilst another one seemed to be pulling away.

"So ... I ... can ... be ... Queen." She felt like crying with the effort. The two different pulls seemed to be tearing her apart.

"What about Gwen?"

"She will be Queen if I don't stop her."

"Ah, you've seen that, have you?" She nodded dumbly. Merlin seemed delighted at the news.

"Gwen ... Arthur .. think about them, think about the four of us going to Ealdor, about how much you cared about them, how much you wanted to protect your friends."

"Merlin, stop, it's hurting."

"What is?"

"I don't want ... I can't ..."

"Think of the fire that might have burned Gwen, of Arthur dying by Cenred's hand." She shook her head.

"It's what I want."

"No, it's what Morgause wants."

"Aah!" She dropped to her knees, unable to cope with the pressure and the pulling. She heard a few words of magic, her head spun and she collapsed to the floor.

Her nightmares had returned. Flashes and images of all the things that had terrified her before and since Morgause. The black form of a mighty sorcerer loomed in the centre of all these images conducting them with wide arms. His spells had such power, such strength she could feel the force of them in her dreams. He was in shadow, the orange light of magic dancing around him in spinning circles. He turned slowly to look at her, his eyes glowing amber with magic. The shadow lifted and Merlin stood there with a soft smile on his face. He put a long finger to his lips.

"Ssh," he whispered.

She sat upright and screamed. Crouching beside her was Merlin, one knee up against his chin, looking at her concerned.

"Morgana?" She looked up at the table to find the statue gone, a pile of dust in it's place. Suddenly a terror took her and she screamed again.

"Morgause!" She stood up and rounded on Merlin. "You killed her!" He stood up with a shrug and pointed at the disintegrated statue.

"I think the soldiers just came out of their trance, I doubt she would have had much chance to use her magic."

"No!" The grief cut like a knife and was then suddenly replaced by nothing. The pull that had been fighting against Merlin's commands snapped and she fell forward into his arms. He lowered them both back to the floor, onto their knees and held her face in his hand.

"Morgana?"

"Merlin? I don't understand I..." Images flashed passed her eyes again as if she was still dreaming. Long sessions with Morgause looking deeply into her eyes and talking with conviction about things she could not remember. The look on a guard's face as she stabbed him and pushed him over the parapet. Uther screaming at an invisible terror as she pulled a string tight on a mandrake root. A red jewelled dagger that she planned to kill Uther with. A fight with Merlin about hurting friends. An enchanted bracelet she gave to Arthur in order to drain him of life. Gwen on the floor of the Great Hall being sentenced to death. She screamed again at these horrible images and the recollection of how much she'd enjoyed watching everyone's pain.

"It's alright, everything will be alright now." Merlin had pulled her close to him and was rocking her and stroking her hair.

"No, no, nothing will ever be alright again. What have I done?"

"You were enchanted. Now you're not."

"But you knew. You know so much about magic and yet ..." She tried to focus her foggy brain on exactly what had happened down here and the complete certainty that he didn't have magic, couldn't have magic because Morgause had said so. "You're immune to it?"

"Perhaps a little." She sensed that he was amused by that thought.

"Isn't that evidence of magic in itself?"

"You said you can't feel anything when I'm close though?" He was still holding her, his lips moving against her ear. She gave a small laugh at the irony of that statement.

"I think there's definitely some magic here." She pulled away to look at him and then frowned. She put a gentle finger on the ugly red scratch running down his right cheek. "I did that too, didn't I?" He winced at her light touch.

"I think I deserved it for presuming to kiss the King's ward." He was starting to distance himself from her. She wished he wouldn't.

"I'm sorry."

"For the slap or the kiss?"

"For everything."

He nodded, head down deep in thought for a moment before a small cheeky grin crossed his face.

"Well, I suppose whilst we're confessing here, I haven't been entirely truthful with you either."

"Go on."

"Your kiss was good actually." He wasn't looking at her, but she saw his cheeks turn pink.

"Not enough to enchant you though?"

"Depends on your interpretation of 'enchant'." There was a very long pause.

"What now, Merlin? How can I face them all, knowing what I've done?" Another shrug. She wished he'd look at her again, the way he had earlier when he'd practically gazed into her soul.

"Keep your head down, be your old self. Avoid any unnecessary contact with Gaius and Gwen for a while." He shrugged again. She stood up and retrieved her swords. He looked at her nervously.

"What about you and me?"

"If you can forgive me then I forgive you."

"Of course I forgive you." He smiled brightly at her then, a hint of the Merlin she'd first become friends with, and held a long thin hand out to her. She took it to shake but he lifted it to his lips to kiss instead. She shuddered despite herself. "About earlier?"

"No, forget it." He shook his head violently. "Really, forget it. Uther would have my head."

"Merlin ..." She moved a step closer and raised a hand to his unscratched cheek. His eyes closed in pleasure at the touch but he again shook his head.

"I'd better be going, my lady. I need to find out how Arthur fared in all of this," and he turned tail and ran.

"Coward," she muttered under her breath.

* * *

**A/N** _This has been re-published on 9th May 2011 with a number of corrections and minor tweaks in preparation for the often asked for and long awaited extension._


	2. Chapter 2

_So many lovely requests to continue this and it was always in the back of my mind to extend it but I didn't know which direction to go in. Anyway … here we are - at long last. _

* * *

**Chapter 2**

Gwen was walking along the corridor, sheets in hands as usual, when she rounded a corner and bumped into an annoyed looking Arthur.

"Sire," she said, dropping an elegant curtsey.

"Guinevere," His expression instantly changed to a loving smile and Gwen felt her knees go weak at both the look and the sound of his voice as he said her name in that way. "I don't suppose you've seen my idiot servant, have you?" he continued.

"Merlin?" she asked a little curtly, annoyed at how rude the prince always was to her good friend.

"Of course, Merlin. He was in the middle of cleaning my armour when he suddenly dropped it all and ran off without saying a word. Honestly, when I get my hands on him I'll ..." He trailed off, his gaze suddenly becoming distant and a soft smile appearing on his face. Gwen was only half aware of this, still cross at him for his annoying rant.

"Arthur Pendragon. You are quite impossible," she said, hands on hips. "I know you care about Merlin. I know, that you know, exactly how much he does for you - over and above the call of duty. I just wish that you would acknowledge your true feelings for him once in a while." Arthur turned towards her, a strange smile on his face, his eyes rather glassy. He looked as if he were a bit drunk. "Arthur?"

"You are quite right, of course. Merlin is my very best friend," he said with an uncharacteristically excited grin plastered on his face.

"Ah … sorry?" Gwen stared at him, not having expected quite such an enthusiastic response.

"He always cheers me up with his smile. So kind, always so forgiving … I don't know what I would do without him."

"Arthur, are you sure you're alright?" He nodded, his smile becoming even broader. "Perhaps you should go and see Gaius?"

"Oh, alright," he said turning back the way he'd come. Gwen frowned at the prince's instant compliance.

"Arthur, stop." He did so immediately, turning back and looking down at her as a dog might look at his handler for it's next instruction. The thought chilled her before another emotion suddenly took over. "Jump up and down," she said, a slight smile playing on her lips. There, in the middle of the corridor, the crown prince of Camelot did just that and Gwen started to giggle. "Stop … please stop. Oh dear, now I know something is wrong." One part of her toyed with the idea of asking him to kiss her. She wondered just how good that might be now that all his inhibitions had apparently disappeared. The sensible part desperately pushed the thought to one side with a shake of the head. "I think we need to get you back to your chambers before anyone sees you like this," she said eventually.

"Oh … alright." Again, he turned instantly and Gwen followed him down the corridor, feeling very confused. By the time they'd entered the room, she felt as if she was loosing that kissing battle in her head but, as Arthur turned back towards her, he suddenly blinked his eyes and shook his head as his expression changed back to something that seemed far more familiar and appropriate for the crown prince.

"Guinevere … where …? What just happened?"

"Ah …?"

xoxOxox

Merlin's mind was reeling, his lips were tingling and he had no idea what he was feeling at this moment in time. That kiss? He'd kissed Morgana. Just thinking about it made it difficult to concentrate on anything else but he tried hard to put the memory and the emotions to one side and focus on what was really important.

Suddenly he was overcome by a strong wave of dizziness and the floor seemed to tilt beneath his feet. He stopped, leaning against the wall for support, as the strangest feeling surged through him; the sudden, mad idea that everything had changed course, turned around and that he was now facing in a completely different direction. The feeling was magical but did not come with any dire sense of foreboding it was just … confusing. His equilibrium mostly settled, he moved slowly away from the wall, shaking his head to clear the last of the dizziness, and continued on in the direction he'd been walking before. Probably.

Merlin now had an extra thing to add to his already overcrowded mind and soon became aware of exactly what he was now feeling; the strange sense that history had shifted – moved onto another road – and that the future had somehow been altered. His experience with the Crystal Cave made him quite aware that Fate had a destination in mind for all of them and that one tampered with her plan at one's peril.

He tried hard to pull his mind back to the other important issues; the fact that Morgana had been enchanted since she'd returned, that Morgause was now dead and that a spell had just been cast on all of the men in the castle to make them obey the sorceresses' commands. That last recollection finally pushed all other distractions firmly to one side as Merlin suddenly remembered Arthur and panicked at the thought of the danger his master could be in. He ran down the corridor full pelt and threw open the door of the prince's chambers to find him sitting down on a chair looking confused, whilst Guinevere stood nearby, apparently quite unable to school her amused expression.

"Where have you been, Merlin?" Arthur asked. "Why did you run off like that and ..." He suddenly frowned and looked at his servant more closely. "… what happened to your cheek?"

"What? Oh ..." He put a hand up to the cut and winced as his touch made it sting.

"Ouch, Merlin, that looks nasty," said Gwen coming over. "How did you do that?"

"Well ... you see ..." he stalled, desperately trying to think of an excuse.

"Were you affected by this enchantment too?" she continued. Merlin stared at her for a moment before suddenly having an idea of what had happened here.

"Yes, it was most odd. I suddenly remembered that Gaius needed my help with a critically ill patience, which is why I left and then ... well I was, ah, chopping some herbs for his potion when ... Jenny came in and started teasing me; said I was going to cut myself ... or something and then ..."

"... and then everything went blank ... and you came around a little later not remembering anything?" Arthur supplied and Merlin nodded.

"Yes. Why, what happened to you?"

"I told him to treat you better and to admit how much he liked you really," said Gwen. Merlin smiled slightly, a small frown on his face as he tried to read his friends' expression.

"What did he say?"

"That you were his very best friend," she replied triumphantly. Merlin grinned broadly.

"There is no way I would say something like that, even if I was under an enchantment," said Arthur haughtily.

"Honestly, he said such nice things about you, Merlin. I think he might have even been about to declare his total, undying love just before the spell wore off."

"Now you're being ridiculous," Arthur sulked.

"Ah yes, I agree. So, you weren't affected Gwen?" Merlin asked.

"No. I wonder why?"

"Well, if Arthur did what you told him to and I did what Jenny said I would, then that must mean ..."

"A spell to get the men to do what the women wanted? That's just ..." Arthur looked horrified. "Why would anyone do that?"

"Why would they need to? We all know that women can twist us around their little fingers anyway," said Merlin with a smile at Gwen who thumped him gently on the arm in response.

"Perhaps but … that was different. Guinevere got me to jump up and down in the middle of the corridor," said Arthur, pulling a face at the thought, "but what if someone had asked me to throw myself off the battlements instead?"

"Ah, yes … I see," said Merlin nodding. "Some sorceress obviously wanted control over you, or Uther … or the knights. That is actually quite serious."

A loud knock on the door sounded, making all three instantly jump and then laugh, slightly embarrassed at their overreaction.

"Come," Arthur shouted.

"Sorry, to disturb you, Sire but it is rather urgent," said a young messenger. "There's been some strange … magical incident and the King requires your presence in the council chambers."

"Yes, of course. Do you know what happened?"

"Not exactly, Sire except ..." The man bit his lip, wondering whether to tell what he knew. "It's just that a guard came out of some sort of trance to find the sorceress Morgause next to him and ... well, he killed her on sight, Sire."

"Well, that answers that question then," said Arthur, nodding to the messenger and starting to follow him out of the room. "Although I wonder how the enchantment was broken when she obviously hadn't fulfilled her plan?"

xoxOxox

Merlin offered to deliver Morgana's sleeping draft that night, and luckily Gaius didn't seem at all suspicious about the request. When his knocking offered no response, the young man opened the door slowly to find her lying, fully clothes on her bed, tossing and turning in a nightmare filled sleep.

"Morgana," he said, quickly moving to sit on the edge of her bed and gently shaking her awake. She sat upright with a small cry.

"It's all changed! This isn't what was supposed to happen," she said loudly. Then saw that it was Merlin by her side and frowned, backing away from him slightly.

"Yes, I know. The future's changed." Suddenly he felt a sharp pain on his uncut cheek and realised that Morgana had slapped him. "Ow. What was that for?"

"How could you?" she hissed. "How could you lie to me? Keep something that important from me?"

"Ah …?"

"Your a sorcerer, Merlin. I know – I saw it."

"Ah ... what did you see, exactly?"

"Well, first the visions I saw when I collapsed in the under-croft, which I couldn't make much sense of at the time, and then … just now when I realised that I'd … that we'd changed something and I saw the future that could have been. I saw you in the Great Hall with Gaius and then you attacked Morgause ... _with magic_. I saw you, Merlin. How could you?"

"What? Keep it from you? Why would I tell you, especially recently, when it was so obvious that you were threatening Arthur?"

"Even with the enchantment it was only ever always Uther I was after."

"No, you can't convince me of that, Morgana. You gave Arthur that enchanted bracelet, you uncovered his feelings for Gwen. You said yourself that part of the enchantment was for you to become Queen in their stead."

"But … two years ago – when you helped me … you could have told me then," she pushed.

"I could have … yes."

"So?"

"If you want me to apologise for that I will but, Morgana, you were reluctant enough to confide in me back then and you had a certain amount of protection. Uther loves you so much that he might just hesitate, might reconsider, if he found out about your magic. I did not and still do not have such protection."

"Uther. Love me?"

"You know it's true – you've used it to your advantage, numerous times."

"I wasn't myself." Merlin shook his head.

"Perhaps that enchantment made little difference – perhaps Fate always intended you to be against Camelot. Perhaps she always intended to use you to fight against Arthur and my destiny to save him."

"Merlin. How can you say that?"

"I don't want it to be true. I've always wanted to believe that you can be on my side – working _with_ me, not against me. Arthur is our only hope, Morgana, you have to believe me. Together he and I will bring magic back – it has been prophesied. Don't tell me that, with all your gifts, you haven't once seen something of that future?"

"I haven't – at least nothing that I can remember. Then again, now everything's changed who's to say what the future is going to be."

"I suppose so, although I'm not sure it makes much sense. Fate has a way of pushing things back on course, whether we like it or not." There was a short pause whilst Morgana considered things, still frowning slightly and not looking up at Merlin at all.

"You've been using your magic to protect Arthur all this time?" she asked eventually.

"Yes."

"Only that?"

"Mostly. The serious things anyway, but, I've used it to protect others here too – including you."

"Me?"

"I was the one that cured you after you fell down the stairs although ..." He winced, not quite sure how honest he should be considering the circumstances of that day. He shook his head.

"Thank you," she replied and he gave a shrug in reply. "But, I still don't understand why you're doing all of this?"

"I've told you, I need to protect Arthur, help ensure that he's the type of King that will bring magic back."

"You really believe that he will?"

"Of course. You don't?"

"I used to. Recently, I've assumed the Arthur will just take over from Uther in terms of magic but then, I suppose that could have been ..." She trailed off – obviously still uncertain which of her recent thoughts had actually been hers. "So, why did you help me when you didn't trust me?" she continued and then suddenly glared again, anger flashing in her eyes - remembering. "You've saved Uther's life too, haven't you?"

"Yes, but again, when I've helped others it's mostly because of Arthur. It's like you just said, I don't want him to hate like Uther hates, and your death or the King's death could have made him just as bitter as his father. It's not just evil magic I protect him from – it's other things too – things that hurt, things that corrupt."

"What about me, Merlin? Why did you not protect me from such hurt?"

"I tried. Perhaps I got it wrong. Maybe shielding you from the knowledge of your magic was not the right thing to do but … I know what it's like to fear one's power and I thought that perhaps knowing you had magic might hurt you more."

"Did the knowledge of your magic hurt you?" The bitterness in her voice had returned.

"It was different for me. I've always known what I was."

"Always?" she asked sceptically.

"My magic is … different and it's always been there."

"Always?" she asked again and he just nodded. "Just how powerful are you?" He shrugged. "I saw you in a vision – down in the under-croft when you broke that enchantment. I saw your power and I was … afraid of it." Yet again he shrugged, embarrassed and she suddenly gave a little laugh, one which sounded genuine – like the laughs she used to give. "You're still so modest, Merlin ... no wonder I didn't suspect. No wonder you can stay hidden and underestimated." He pulled a face.

"I am sorry, Morgana. Honestly. I've always cared for you but … the destiny. It's hold over me is greater than anything or anyone else."

"You love Arthur more than me?" she asked mournfully and he snapped his gaze up to her, shocked by her comment and tone of voice, only to see humour sparkling in her green eyes.

"Don't start." She laughed brightly and his lips twitched in amusement despite himself. "Yes, I've heard what some people say about my attachment to Arthur but I would have thought that our … time in the under-croft would be proof enough of my feelings in that regard?" Her smile faded then but her eyes were still sparkling as she moved a little closer and placed a gentle hand on his arm. He swallowed hard and started to pull away but her grip became a little firmer - stilling him.

"Don't go."

"I must."

"But, we have so much to talk about."

"And plenty of time in which to do so."

"Stay." He shook his head. "What are you so afraid of?"

"You know what I'm afraid of. I'm afraid of what Uther will do if he knows I'm here. I am only a servant and I cannot be seen with you … like this."

"Merlin. Please stay?" He gazed into her beautiful eyes, his heart thumping at the desire he could see within them. Biting his lip he placed a gentle hand on her cheek.

"Take your potion, Morgana. Get some sleep." She glared at him and he sighed, moving forward to place a gentle kiss on her forehead. As he pulled slowly away, she placed a hand on his cheek and moved quickly, touching her lips against his. He allowed it for a moment, his lips moving against hers, despite his better judgement, but he was shaking his head at the same time and soon pulled away, his actions attempting to deny what they both knew he was feeling. Again she glared at him and he was torn between amusement and frustration at her reaction.

Yes, he really, really wanted to kiss her properly again but, to do so would be a huge mistake. She was the King's ward and the physical and magical spark between them was so strong that he honestly didn't believe that either of them would be able to stop once they got seriously started. He really did like her and was incredibly attracted to her, but she was so complex, her emotions constantly changing, that he questioned the logic of his feelings – questioned the idea of ever having a pleasant or stable relationship with her, even if they were in a situation where it was allowed. He gave her another chaste kiss on the forehead and very quickly turned back out of the door before she could persuade him to stay.

xoxOxox

* * *

_**A/N **__This was one of my very first fics which I wrote shortly after seeing 3.10 inspired after I'd read a number of forum posts where people were speculated on the possibility of Morgana being enchanted by Morgause. Once S3 had aired and gone off in a completely different direction, I struggled to know how to progress with it and so decided to focus on my multi-parters instead. Now that I've got more experience, I've decided to give 'alternative time line' writing a go. _

_So, I wanted to get a little way through before posting this second chapter, but also wanted to get this fic back 'out there' fairly soon, in order to get some further feedback. As such, I have some idea of the direction I'd like to take this in, but would also like to know what you would like to see happen before I write very much more. Because of this, there may be a little delay before Chapter 3 is published but we're talking a week or two maximum here – not five months like the previous gap! _


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3. **

Merlin still felt uneasy when he next came downstairs for breakfast. The constant feeling of dizziness and nausea, apparently caused by Fate's change of direction, hadn't gone away, but he was becoming more accustomed to it - learning to cope a little better with the sensation.

"Could you pass me the cup, Gaius?" he asked, holding his hand out automatically, only to have it close around an object that seemed far heavier and colder than he was expecting. He looked up to find a worryingly familiar, ornamented challis in his grip instead of the usual pottery mug and frowned. "Gaius, this is the Cup of Life, what's it doing here?"

"What are you on about?" asked the physician confused. "It's just a plain old mug." Merlin looked back at the object in his hands and turned it around a couple of times, trying to work out whether it was Gaius or him that was hallucinating. He noticed that it seemed a little hazy, shimmering with small gold flecks which floated around it like dust when he moved it. "Are you going to drink that or just play with it?" Gaius asked sarcastically as Merlin continued to sway it back and forth gently, fascinated by the little sparks. He was vaguely aware that the strange dizziness and nausea had become even less significant during this time, but simply shrugged at the strangeness of everything and tried to concentrate on his meal.

After breakfast he headed out to start the morning chores for Arthur, only to find that the usual dizziness had re-appeared almost as soon as he'd entered the corridor. Whilst the prince ate his food, Merlin made his way over to the table to prepare his armour for training and cried out in surprise when he saw what was on the table.

"Arthur! Where did you get that sword?"

"What are you on about, Merlin? It's just my usual one." Merlin picked up the weapon, the most beautiful he had ever seen; shining bright silver with a gold engraved panel within it. A blade forged in the dragon's breath - a sword to slay the dead. He sighed as he saw it glowing slightly with the same pale gold sparkles as he'd seen around the cup at breakfast and, yet again, the feeling of dizziness, of 'wrongness' disappeared as he held it. Perhaps it was some sort of message. Perhaps his magic was trying to tell him something about the new future he and Morgana had forced. "Did you bring any salt with you?" Arthur continued, pulling Merlin's attention back to the prince.

"Yes, it's behind the jug ... look ..." He went back to the table to pick up the little pot, only to find the vial of water that the Fisher king had given him instead. It was, of course, slightly hazy and glowing gold.

"_Alright, that's enough. What's going on?"_

"_Merlin." _

"What?" he asked Arthur impatiently, but the prince ignored him, continuing to eat his breakfast.

_"Merlin!" _That wasn't Arthur, that was ...

Merlin was suddenly awake, sitting up in his small bed in a still dark room, having been roused from his odd dream by Kilgharrah's silent voice. He'd not had the dragon communicate with him in that way since he'd freed him from his imprisonment under the castle, and couldn't help but wonder what was so urgent that he'd felt the need to wake him up in the middle of the night. With a long suffering sigh, Merlin quickly put on his boots and jacket and tip-toed his way though Gaius' chambers, out of the castle and onwards to the large field to find the dragon already waiting for him.

"It took you some time to get here," Kilgharrah said and, although his tone did not appear accusing, Merlin read the impatience within it nonetheless.

"Hey, I thought I was the one who ordered you around nowadays?" he replied with a broad grin. The dragon stretched his large head leant forwards, golden eyes regarding the warlock closely.

"Interfering with Fate is no laughing matter, Merlin. Do not tell me that you have not felt the change in the direction of the universe?"

"I've felt it, yes." He pulled a face. "Still feeling it, actually."

"And it is you to blame for that change?"

"Why would you say that?"

"I do not know the details, but I do know that only you have the type of power that could cheat Fate like this."

"I didn't – not really. I just … helped a … friend." The dragon let out a long suffering sigh.

"By 'friend' I take it you are referring to the witch?" Merlin winced as he always did when the dragon referred to Morgana like that.

"This time it's you that's got it wrong," he said crossly, folding his arms and glaring at Kilgharrah. "She was enchanted by Morgause and so … that proves that she was not evil and that I was right all along."

"It proves nothing of the kind, Merlin. It only confirms what I have believed all along, that you are far too sentimental for your own good."

"This is _not_ my fault!"

"I beg to differ. What is it about that witch that makes you so … irrational?"

"Me? You're the one that's had it in for her. I say she's not evil … I say she's my friend. Morgana cares what happens to Camelot, she wants to make everything right. She's smart, beautiful and powerful and I shall guide her as others have guided me and help her to understand the destiny Arthur and I share." He glared up at Kilgharrah who regarded him for a long moment, eyes bright, head slightly tipped, giving the impression that he was entertained by his young master's rant.

"I'm curious, young warlock," he said, and there was definitely amusement evident in his voice. "What does her _beauty_ have to do with any of this?"

"Her … what?" Merlin repeated his speech back in his mind and realised that he had indeed used that that word to describe Morgana. He flinched, quite aware he'd turned pink whilst Kilgharrah gave a gentle rumble of a laugh.

"Now, why did I not see that before? Perhaps it is my age blinding me – seeing her only as your enemy rather than as a woman."

"I don't know what you mean," Merlin said in a flustered tone.

"You view her as a potential mate?" the dragon asked and Merlin instantly blushed at his turn of phrase and all that it implied.

"I-I wouldn't say … not m-mate ... I mean …?"

"This rather complicates matters and, I expect, is the reason for this shift in Destiny's path," he continued in a tone which almost sounded kind. "What happened?" Gradually, reluctantly Merlin explained the events of the previous day.

"You have used your mutual attraction to pull her from her destined path," the dragon said afterwards, all hints of amusement or accusation gone from his voice. "That is a dangerous thing to do and is not likely to end well. You have experienced this before, Merlin. Fate is not easily swerved. She will find a way back home."

"No! I I can keep Morgana grounded, I know I can. I can teach her, instruct her. If she does feel the same about me then … I will use that to help her, to help Camelot. Surely, if she is not against Arthur then that can only be a good thing for everyone?"

"I understand that this is something you find hard to comprehend at such a very young age but … I'm afraid that even someone with your very great power cannot defeat Fate."

"I want to save her, Kilgharrah. I have to try."

"And I have no power to stop you from trying, however much I believe that it will hurt you in the end." Merlin stubbornly shook his head and strode back to Camelot without acknowledging the dragon at all.

xoxOxox

Camelot was host to numerous visitors for the upcoming tournament and Merlin was horrified to learn that anyone could enter this event and use any weapon of their choice. No rules? That was a recipe for disaster, he thought, amazed at how causal Arthur was being about the whole thing. Despite the constant feeling of unease and dizziness, Merlin was kept far too busy to think much about anything other than the tournament; now having to prepare Arthur, give assistance to the visiting competitors and do all his usual chores as well. To be honest, some of these competitors made his master look positively kind and thoughtful; he even got whipped by one particularly large bully and would have probably been hurt even more if it hadn't been for a strange young man who stood up for him and – rather suspiciously – managed to thwart him so easily.

Merlin was just dashing off to look for Arthur's missing shield when he again heard a silent voice enter his head but this one was very quiet, weak and … unexpected.

"_Merlin?" _Despite it's faintness he quickly recognised it and the direction it was coming in and retraced his footsteps to see an especially pale Morgana waiting in one of the corridor's alcoves.

"It worked? she asked with a weak grin. "Morgause taught me ..." Her smile quickly faded. "... she said I wasn't very loud but I thought that perhaps someone like you might hear me."

"Yes, and I wasn't that far away. It's certainly useful to know." He looked around nervously, suddenly hearing a sound. _"Especially … considering ..?" _He finished the sentence silently pushing it very firmly towards her and the delighted smile she gave him in return appeared to confirm she'd received it. Someone was now quite obviously walking towards their position and Merlin looked worried for a moment until Morgana gave him a firm nod and moved confidently out of the alcove.

"Tell Gaius I'm in need of my sleeping draft again tonight," she said loudly and haughtily. "If he's too busy, then I expect you to bring it in his stead."

"Yes, my lady," Merlin replied seriously, giving her a small smile to let her know he understood the reason for the act. It probably was still best to stick to that old excuse for meeting now anyway. Talking silently definitely wouldn't work all the time, both because she found it too difficult and he found it far too easy – tending to get everyone's thoughts thrown at him in one go and leaving him with a headache that lasted all day. Even that short communication with Morgana was starting to make his head pound and now the dizziness and nausea had just doubled in intensity too. He wondered if he could find the time to lie down for a moment.

_As if!_

xoxOxox

Morgana's looked even more pale than usual when he turned up with her potion a few hours later.

"Are you alight?" he asked.

"No," she replied. "My nightmares have returned … I mean, like they were before … I left." Merlin nodded, hoping to reassure her. "I'm sure it's because we changed things – changed the future. You know what I mean, don't you?"

"Yes," he confirmed. "I feel it all the time."

"You do?" He nodded. "I only feel it when I'm sleeping. It's then that I know that everything's changed - that somehow it's all wrong. Why should this feel wrong?"

"What do you sense when you're asleep?"

"On those rare occasions when I'm dreaming normally I'm always feeling ill or sick during ..."

"That's what I feel too but I mostly feel sick whilst I'm awake. What about your visions?"

"It's like before – visions of the future but these … these are visions of what would have happened if you hadn't intervened and ..." Her voice cracked as she fought back the tears.

"Morgana?"

"It's horrible, Merlin. The things I see, the future that would have happened. I just don't understand why what I'm seeing is supposed to be the right path and that this road is somehow bad. That future is horrible – I'm ..." She shook her head. "Why, Merlin? Why should me no longer being under the enchantment feel so strange?" There was total panic in her beautiful eyes as she said it. "I don't want to go back to feeling like that – to hating everyone and everything. I don't want to be … evil."

"Morgana – you've never been evil, you never could be. Don't believe that for a moment."

"You haven't seen what I've seen. You don't know what I would have done."

"That wasn't you, it was Morgause's influence on you, we both know that now. I admit that you have …. a different outlook on things than me - have very strong view about certain things. You are often so convinced that your view is right and that sometimes means you go about things the wrong way, but I don't believe you're evil."

"So, you're saying that you know better than I do?" she retorted and Merlin grinned at her – seeing so much of Arthur's arrogance in the comment.

"It's not that, it's just that I've had helpful guidance – you've not."

"So, will _you _guide me now?"

"Of course. If you'll let me?" he replied and she nodded, frowning slightly as she did so. "Look, I need to get some sleep," Merlin continued. "I have to be up at some ridiculous hour for this tournament: All comers indeed," he almost growled that final sentence. "Going to be even harder to keep Arthur in one piece now." Morgana laughed brightly.

"You worry about Arthur too much. He's the best knight in all of Albion – no-one will be able to beat him. Even magic has failed to do so in the past."

"Right?" he drawled sarcastically. "And that is because …?" She laughed brightly, acknowledging the part he had obviously played in many of those victories. Merlin felt a strange giddiness that was nothing to do with destiny having been rudely turned around. Someone else knew about his secret. Someone of his age that also had magic – and it was so freeing, so comforting.

"Sleep well, my lady," he said, planting his usual chaste kiss on her forehead and quickly moving away before either of them could be tempted into anything else.

xoxOxox

Just as before, Gaius' potions had little effect on her nightmares and Morgause's bracelet appeared to have lost it's power too. Admittedly, true prophetic dreams had their way of pushing through even that enchantment but, whether because of her sister's death, or the shift in Fate, Morgana's dreams seemed more disturbing than they had ever been before. This time, the image of her and Gwen stepping around each other, both apparently knowing that the other was up to no good, was enough to have her tossing and turning even more violently than before. Then, when she saw herself slip some powder into one of two glasses and hand it to to her maid to drink, Morgana screamed out loud, forcing herself awake.

"Don't drink it, Gwen!"

"Milady?" Gwen hadn't known how to treat her these last couple of days. Apparently aware of her mistresses recent coolness before the enchantment had been lifted, she was now confused by the fact that her personality seemed to have changed back again. The return of her severe nightmares was also confusing the girl, torn between frustration that she was unable to help and a strange comfort that things had gone back to normal.

"S-sorry ... j-just a dream …" Morgana explained.

"You said, 'don't drink it?'" Gwen asked curiously, but Morgana shook her head and forced a smile out.

"Just a dream, as I said. That's not going to happen."

"Well, if you're certain that you're alright?"

"Yes. Looks like another visit to Gaius is in order today," she said, noting that an image of Merlin immediately sprung into her mind instead. She sighed and lay back down, exhausted but not wanting to go back to sleep again either.

Uther and Arthur did almost all of the talking that morning around the breakfast table, both obviously excited about the upcoming tournament. Uther, seeing how tired and pale his ward looked, expressed his concern, often placing a hand on her arm whilst Morgana tried very hard not to shudder at his touch, quite aware that her audience now included Merlin who really shouldn't know how she currently felt about the King.

Despite the enchantment having shown that she still had positive feelings for Arthur and Gwen, her thoughts about Uther had changed little before, during or after the spell. She had kept this fact from Merlin, avoiding the subject of her guardian where at all possible. She was willing to go along with the warlock's idea of allowing him to continue to reign, for the time being, purely in order to give Arthur time to mature enough before taking control but, in truth, she would still rather Uther were dead and her brother could take over immediately. At this moment in time she was still smarting from the shock of Morgause's death, the enchantment, plus her numerous confused emotions about Merlin and his abilities but, given time, she knew she had to try and get her new friend and ally to agree with her about this one point, if nothing else.

Uther had had a liaison with her mother - his best friend's wife and she was the result of the affair. The king had know that she was his daughter for all these years, yet had not told her and she hated him for it - felt ashamed to be the daughter of an evil King who constantly ranted about magic, whilst simultaneously doting on her and not telling Arthur that he had a sister. Uther would think her evil if he found out about her magic - would execute Merlin without a moment's thought - when she now knew that the warlock spent every waking moment trying to protect him, his kingdom and his son. Uther did not deserve to live.

There was some banter between father and son around the table as the meal continued, all three being served by Merlin and Gwen; some comments about how Uther was the current champion of this particular tournament and had won it twice before that but, although one part of her debated the idea of goading the king into entering the competition, another part hesitated, thinking of Merlin and his determination to ensure that Arthur was protected from all types of harm.

Competing against his father would be a huge challenge for the prince. If he did his best then he would win, Morgana had no doubt about that, and the King would be shown up or injured which would upset Arthur. Alternatively, her proud, stubborn brother would have to pretend to loose and struggle with those emotions too. All in all, it was too much effort to think about the best outcome, especially when she was still suffering with lack of sleep and the strange confusion about a world apparently turned on it's side so, she kept quiet and let events play their natural course.

Uther, with advice from Gaius and his senior Lords decided not to enter.

The tournament was fairly predictable. Despite competitors descending on Camelot from all corners of the kingdom and beyond - despite all the exotic weapons – all the strange techniques – it was the knights that held sway, the knights that won their early bouts and moved forward to the next rounds. There were a few exceptions, of course. Some by luck, some by a certain amount of skill, but everyone was talking about 'that boy.' The young man that fought with no armour – and seemed to have no special talent to speak of, who somehow, amazingly, managed to defeat opponents that appeared to be his superior.

Now, why, of why did she find herself thinking about Merlin when watching this lad?

She'd seen little of the warlock these last two days, with Gaius having brought the potion to her at night and the brief glimpses she had seen of Merlin showed him looking even more pale and frazzled than usual. However, when Morgana saw this young competitor ... this Gilli … throw some large brute of a man backwards with such force that he almost flew through the air, she suddenly realised why he'd reminded her of Merlin and exactly how he was managing to beat everyone. So, that evening, she deliberately went to Gaius chambers in search of Merlin, to find him grinding up some herbs for his absent mentor.

"M-morgana … what can I do for you?" he stammered, taking a nervous step backwards as she approached him.

"Gilli …?"

"Ah … what about him?"

"I take it you've met him?"

"Y-yes?" he said, with that overplayed innocence that she now knew was an act.

"Oh, Merlin, honestly. I thought by now you could be truthful with me. I saw him today – he has magic, doesn't he?" He nodded, nervously. "So …?"

"He's hurt and confused … trying to prove himself."

"Well I know how that feels, obviously," she scoffed in response.

"I can't let him continue to use magic … He killed a man and injured another when he had no real need to. I can't take the chance that he might injure Arthur in the semi-finals." His voice was firm, confident. Something she was still found strange to witness.

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm not sure. I've talked to him – tried to make him see sense but ..." He shrugged.

"And if he uses magic during the bout?"

"Then I'll have to use magic to stop him."

"What if you get seen?" she asked.

"Then I get seen," Merlin said with a shrug. "That's always the risk I've taken."

"To protect Arthur?"

"Of course."

"Merlin, are you absolutely sure about this destiny of yours? Are you certain that this is the way it should be? You have magic and you're obviously so powerful – perhaps you got it wrong – perhaps it's you that needs to take control and allow magic back into Camelot."

"What? No!" he shouted at her, obviously shocked at her suggestion. He shook his head trying to calm himself. "No," he said, suddenly quieter. "The power is not mine – it's not yours. It's Arthur's. I'm here to guide and assist, nothing more."

"But …?" she came closer, her eyes pleading with him.

"No, Morgana. Don't you see? This isn't about power - political or magical. For me it never has been. This is about what is right. I thought, after last week, you understood that?"

"But it's all changed, you said so yourself – maybe this is a sign. Perhaps you and I ... together …?" She moved closer still giving Merlin a small smile and saw him swallow hard, taking another step backwards.

"W-what do you mean, together?" he asked nervously.

"We could take control; put Arthur on the throne, of course, but use our magic for the good of Camelot. Change all these ridiculous rules about nobles and servants … we both know we'd have Arthur's support on that one."

"There's no need, that's all going to happen anyway. We just need to be patient."

"Why? Why let so many innocent people die now, when we could save their lives by grabbing this opportunity?" She struggled to interpret his expression. "You look scared, but you don't need to be, you could do it, Merlin. You could do _anything_." She moved even closer and, as the young man's next step forced him up against a bench, quickly found herself comfortably within his personal space.

"M-morgana ..." He licked his lips and she knew he too was feeling that strange magical connection that she'd only recently started to understand. Quickly, before she could change her mind, or he could object, she closed the remaining distance between them and pressed her lips against his. To her total delight and relief, he wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her back, making her heart pound and her body shudder with delight as he hugged her close. Then there was just the feel of his warm lips on hers, his arms holding her tightly and his hands gently moving up and down her back, it was … perfect.

That was until the sound of the door opening forced them abruptly apart.

"Merlin! What do you think you're doing!"

xoxOxox

* * *

**A/N** _I didn't really want to leave you with a cliff hanger here but it just sort of happened. Sorry._

_I have a fairly good idea of where this is going now. Your reviews have been very helpful and have already caused me to shift the plan I had slightly in response, so do keep telling me what you'd like to see and I'll take it all on board.  
_

_If you've a chance, check out my profile page which will keep you up to date with my progress on this fic and give you an idea of when the next chapter is due. Apologies if my updates are a little slower than of late but, unfortunately, my chocolate plot bunny*, seems to prefer the other fic I'm writing at the moment and I usually find it's best to do as he tells me. I'm aiming for Tuesday/Wednesday but mostly it will just happen when it's ready.  
_

_Details of that other fic are also on my profile page. 'Kilgharrah's' is my first attempt at Modern!Merlin and the writing's going really well at the moment. That's also going to be Mergana because so many of you have asked me to write the pairing with non-evil!Morgana and that's much easier to do in a future setting. Again, I'd love to hear your thoughts about this idea if you want to send me a PM. _

* * *

_* Eating a chocolate bunny at Easter seemed to help me with my writing so I decided he must have been a plot bunny. I have just this minute remembered the small, stuffed, brown bunny I have who's infused with a chocolate scent. So, of course, he's now sitting next to my the computer as a mascot - a real, actual, chocolate plot bunny! :D  
_


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"G-gaius ..." Merlin stuttered. Morgana had jumped away from him at the sound of the physician's voice, and the warlock now looked nervously from one to the other, only to find Morgana looking more amused than guilty. He gripped the bench behind him tightly, breathing heavily from both the kiss and the nerves.

"Merlin, would you care to explain?" Gaius asked.

"Well ..." he started, his mind racing as he tried to think of an excuse.

"There's nothing _to_ explain," Morgana interrupted haughtily. If lords and ... princes can kiss serving girls, I don't see why I shouldn't amuse myself in the same way with a serving boy." Both Merlin and Gaius stared at her, not having expected that response at all.

"I would imagine that the king would not see it that way. I would expect him to blame the boy rather than you?" said Gaius pointedly. Merlin had now recovered some of his wits after that exceptionally passionate kiss, but could think of nothing to say that would make this situation any better, so remained quiet.

"This wasn't Merlin's fault," Morgana continued.

"Really? So, what he said was true? You were working against Camelot but now you're not? You now consider Merlin a friend?"

"Of course. That wasn't me at all. The enchantment was broken as soon as ... Morgause died. I would never do anything to harm my friends."

"Except, as I said before, Uther would punish Merlin instantly if he had come in and caught you two like that. Which does make it rather hard for me to believe that you still don't mean him harm."

"I-it wasn't entirely her," Merlin managed at last. "It wasn't as if she forced me or anything."

"I imagine not," said Gaius with a look which was very nearly amused. "Please, my lady, if you really don't wish to see harm come to Merlin …?"

"Well, I still say it's most unfair," she said, flouncing out of the door.

Gaius' expression then suddenly turned rather more stern as he faced his ward.

"Honestly, Merlin. It's one extreme or another with you two, isn't it?"

"Ah … pretty much, yes?" he answered with a shrug and an attempt at a casual grin.

"Well as far as I'm concerned it simply adds another reason for Uther to be after your head. It looks like I'll be taking Morgana's sleeping draft to her for the foreseeable future?"

"Ah yes, that probably would be for the best."

xoxOxox

Despite his best efforts, Merlin hadn't managed to persuade Gilli to withdraw from the tournament but, luckily, when the boy encountered the prince in the semi-finals, he struggled to hold his own against such a young, strong opponent, even with his magic to assist him. Merlin watched closely, ready to step in and counter any spells that might really threaten Arthur; one to free up the prince's shield when it became mysteriously stuck to the audience panelling and once tripping up Gilli when he'd been about to attack from behind. Luckily, Arthur had rather more honour than he'd seen the young sorcerer display in previous rounds and simply held Gilli at sword point until he submitted. Afterwards the pair of sorcerers had come to an understanding and parted as friends. Merlin really hoped they'd have a chance to cross paths again at some point.

Arthur progressed to the final and won – of course.

Merlin seemed to become even busier immediately after the tournament and, as a result, saw little of Arthur for the rest of that day until his master came in looking even more tired and stressed than usual.

"Where have you been?" said Merlin in a slightly scolding tone which had Arthur raising his eyebrows in surprise.

"Father called an urgent council meeting."

"Immediately after the tournament? Why?" The prince shook his head, sitting at the table and accepting the mug Merlin passed him. "What is it, Arthur?" he asked more gently.

"War, mostly likely."

"What?"

"We've had reports that Cenred's been amassing an army this last week. We've no idea what's brought this on and so Sir Leon's taken a troop out and gone to investigate."

"Just this last week?" Merlin asked nervously.

"Yes, why that tone?"

"Didn't Gaius say anything?"

"He wasn't there – too busy tending the injured fighters. Father said he'd bring him in tomorrow. Merlin, what is it?"

"Well it's just … I heard that Morgause was in league with Cenred and that perhaps there were rather more than associates and so … if he's just heard about her death ..?"

"Well that rumour was mentioned, of course, but Uther didn't put much stock in it. Didn't think Cenred the type to loose his head over a girl." Merlin scoffed at the thought of Uther being an expert on the emotions of others.

"No, I'm sure many wouldn't but, well, I would guess that's probably why he's being suddenly reckless ... you know? Love and revenge and all that?" Arthur gave his servant an expression which was half impressed and half amused.

"And what would _you_ know about love and revenge, _Mer_lin." An image of Freya suddenly slammed in the warlock's head and he felt his heart jolt and his eyes water. He shook his head violently.

"Absolutely nothing concerning those two emotions together – fortunately for you," he replied crossly before he'd really thought about what he was saying. He still wondered why he'd never seemed able to feel any negative feelings about Arthur's part in his love's death.

"Merlin?" Arthur's question was quiet and, if he didn't know his master better, he might have even said slightly nervous. He shook his head at this strange thought.

"Sorry, nothing it's just ... it could be useful to know."

"You're probably right. Why do you seem so certain about this?"

"Well, when I saw them together that time at Fyrien ... you know?" he improvised.

"Merlin, you were hardly in that hall for any time at all."

"I think Gaius heard something from a patient too. I'm sure he'll agree with me when he talks to your father tomorrow."

"All right, fine." Merlin grinned. Gaius had used his 'spoken to a man' excuse before when passing on something that Merlin had seen, and now his 'spoken to a patient' excuse would refer to Morgana who had confirmed that relationship when they'd talked the other day. Arthur sighed and sat down on the chair – head in hands.

"I really am too tired for all of this. After that tournament, I was just hoping to have a couple of restful days." Merlin snorted. "What?"

"Just trying to remember the last time I had a restful day," he grumbled.

"Idiot." Merlin shook his head. Arthur obviously was tired if that was all he could come up with as a retort.

"Would you like so food? More to drink?"

"Food, yes … and then I'm going to bed early. Goodness knows what's going to happen tomorrow."

xoxOxox

Merlin had another one of his strange dreams that night. This time he knew what was happening and continued to look out for any object that might be glowing or seem especially out of place. Looking out for clues, he thought, although he still didn't really understand what they were trying to tell him.

The Cup, Sword and Vial were regular occurrences, but now people were showing the same strange light around them too and he walked into Arthur's chambers to see Arthur and Gwaine locked in a sword fight and shook his head in surprise.

"Gwaine?"

"What?" said Arthur from behind him and Merlin turned to find another prince, this one minus the glow. He turned back to the fighting pair, but they were starting to fade out and Merlin knew now not to worry too much about these strange happenings and just make a conscious note.

"Just wondered if you'd seen Gwen?" he improvised, with a grin.

"You expected to find her here with me? At this time of the morning? Honestly, Merlin, what do you take me for? Come on, the king has called me down for a council meeting about this war. You might as well come and serve us."

They walked into the council chambers and Merlin stopped, stunned at the sight before him.

"What is it now, Merlin?" Quickly realising that the object that had confused him was another one of his strange visions, the warlock shook his head and tried to ignore the bizarre fact that everyone was sitting around a large, engraved, _round_ table that was glowing slightly gold.

xoxOxox

"_Merlin?"_

He sighed as he heard Morgana's faint voice silently calling him. He was tempted to ignore it but, there seemed to be genuine worry in the thought and so he replied.

"_What are you?"_

"_My chambers?"_

"_Are you sure that's a good idea?"_

The next thought wasn't clear but he sensed 'urgent' and 'Gaius' in there somewhere and decided to take a chance.

"Here," she said when he entered her main room, handing him a full bottle of her potion.

"Ah?"

"Gaius just dropped it off – he'll back us up if I say you're delivering it."

"You think?" Merlin replied sarcastically.

"Yes, because this is important. Merlin, Cenred's starting a war."

"Yes, I know. Arthur said. This is all because of Morgause, I assume?"

"How can you be so calm? How can I tell Arthur or Uther that without them wondering why?"

"You don't need to. I've already told Arthur and Gaius will agree with him tomorrow at their meeting."

"But …?"

"Morgana, you could have asked Gaius, he knows all about this … change now."

"I still don't trust him. He's the reason you didn't tell me about your magic," she said with a glare.

"That's not fair, Morgana, he was only protecting me."

"He protects you, you protect Arthur. Who was thinking about me during all of this?"

"_You_ were, Morgana!" he snapped. "You're always thinking about you!"

"How dare you, that's not fair."

"No? Tell me then, why are you so worried about Cenred's war? Is it really because of your concern for Uther and Camelot?"

"Uther? No!" She almost spat the words. "But I do care about Camelot and my friends here."

"And the real reason is?" he asked and she glared at him.

"Alright, I'm worried that Cenred knows so much about me - knows that I was a spy here and … I'm not entirely sure if he realises I was enchanted - he might still think I'm on his side." Merlin debated continuing the lecture on using one's knowledge and power for good, but he didn't think Morgana was ready for the whole of that yet. He settled for his usual, long suffering sigh, instead.

"Morgana, I do understand why you're worried, but please try not to overreact. Gaius and I have been through this sort of fear … well, almost every week since I got here. Even when the situation seems hopeless, we always find a way out and, in this case, I can't see there's much to worry about. If Cenred starts tries to make any negative comments to Uther about you, you know the King will never believe him and, as long as you don't contact Cenred, he can't get in touch with you."

"I-I'm sorry. You're right but, when Gaius said he wanted you to stay away from me I panicked. You're the only one that can help me now, you're the only one who understands, even though you don't always agree with me. It is all getting easier but … talking to you … it helps me."

"I really don't think Gaius minds us _talking_, Morgana," said Merlin with a cheeky grin, "and, as you said before, if anyone else comes by now we just use this as an excuse." He held up her bottle of sleeping potion.

"I know, but I still say that really isn't fair. Talking to you helps, but kissing you really makes me feel even better," and she gave him a shy smile then, looking up at him though her eyelashes and making his heart pound.

"Goodnight, my lady," he said pointedly, grinning broadly nonetheless, before he gave her back her potion and left the room.

xoxOxox

The next day, Merlin was cleaning Arthur's chambers when his master stormed in, his face like a thunder cloud, and grabbed Merlin by the sleeve.

"Hey!"

"Council chambers - now," he ordered.

"What?"

"For once in your life, act like a proper servant and just ... do as you're told." Merlin gave an exaggerated pout and followed the prince out - almost having to run to keep up with him. How did Arthur manage to walk so fast? It wasn't as if his legs were any longer than Merlin's after all.

They entered the hall to find it packed full and Merlin automatically made his way over to Gaius and stood next to him. He gave his mentor a questioning look but the old man just shrugged - apparently not knowing what was wrong either. Then Arthur announced to Uther and the entire court that the patrol that had been dispatched to check out the rumours about Cenred had all been killed, including Sir Leon and so they were now officially at war with Escetia.

After that, Arthur was off again, this time to help organise a full fighting force and send messengers to their allies. Merlin spent the day doing his usual chores, helping the other servants with war preparations and still managed to find some time to meet up with Morgana to try and calm her down and reassure her.

The following day, there was another message for everyone to attend the king in the Great Hall and there, to Merlin astonishment and delight, was Sir Leon looking tired but very much alive. His news, that he had been on the brink of death but had been cured by the Druids using a mysterious challis, sent shivers down Merlin's spine and, even before Gaius had given his opinion of the vessel, the young warlock decided that he already knew what it was - the image of the glowing Cup of Life from his dream suddenly appearing in his head as Leon spoke of it.

"It's important, Gaius," Merlin explained later, when they were alone in the physician's chambers. "I'm not sure why, but a number of things have appeared in my dreams - things relating to this shift in destiny, and my whole body and mind is screaming that I should pay attention; look out for, seek or use these things, whilst another part of me is reluctant to follow these compulsions. Reluctant to put the future 'right' - especially considering some of the things that Morgana has seen in her dreams.

"It looks like you have to power to continue to cheat fate, Merlin," said Gaius. "If you really wanted to you could ignore these hints but ... what do you honestly know of the future? The things Morgana saw that appear to be so bad in the short term, could lead to things that are good - that are meant to be. Following the 'nice and pleasant' option now could lead to disaster for all of us later. For all your great power, Merlin, should you really be leaving yours and Arthur's future that much to chance?"

"However, it really does make more sense to leave something as precious and potentially dangerous as the Cup of Life with the Druids. I just can't see what good would be done by going after it," Merlin argued.

"Neither do I but, Uther wants it here and I know him well enough to know that he won't rest until it arrives and, Merlin, what really interests me in all this, is why the Druids decided to use it to cure Leon in the first place."

"Why wouldn't they?"

"Because, by doing so they've alerted Camelot to it's existence. It's almost as if ..."

"… they wanted us to know?" Merlin finished, shocked at the thought.

"Which seems even more likely considering your strange compulsion to go and get it. You and the Druids are most likely getting the same messages ... it makes sense, doesn't it?"

"Sense? I'm not sure about that but, as you said earlier, in the wrong hands this Cup could be deadly."

"I suspect the initial decision is out of your hands anyway. I suspect Uther will ask Arthur to get it and I expect Arthur will want you with him."

"The king will send Arthur? Even whilst the whole of Camelot is preparing for war?"

"Who else would Uther trust with the mission? Leon says this cave is in Cenred's kingdom in which case, this 'message' could have reached him too - the Druids could have also decided to heal one of his men just to ensure this future you've changed is pushed back on course." Merlin groaned, putting his head in his hands.

"My head hurts!"

"Merlin, what can you tell me about these dreams? What are you being told about the Cup?"

"That it's somehow connected with the sword that I threw into the lake of Avalon, and the vial that I was given by the Fisher King. In addition there's something about a large, stone, round table and … Gwaine." He shook his head.

"Well as most of those things aren't here in Camelot, then it's probably safe to assume you'll come across them on your journey."

"And I suppose that means that I'd better take the vial with me when we leave." Merlin sighed. "I just really hope that Morgana can stay out of all of this. She's still … volatile and self opinionated and …well, it's hard enough reigning in one Pendragon, without having to be responsible for the conduct of two of them." Despite the seriousness of the situation, Gaius couldn't help an amused chuckle escaping at the comment.

So, Merlin wasn't at all surprised when Arthur informed him that just the two of them were to go off on a secret mission the following day. The Prince kept saying that no-one, not even Merlin, was to know the reason for the trip but the warlock, of course, wasn't fooled for a moment.

The night before they left, Merlin persuaded Gaius to let him take Morgana's potions, patiently enduring the lecture about how he needed to behave himself if he wanted to keep his head on his shoulders.

"So, what is this Cup that healed Sir Leon?" she asked him, "and why is Uther so nervous about it? Why would he be concerned about something that just heals people?"

"Well, Uther doesn't like anything to do with magic, obviously." Morgana pulled a face at the reminder. "But, unfortunately, this Cup can be used for evil as well as good and ..." Merlin paused. "Morgana, are you sure you don't remember Morgause saying anything about the Cup of Life? About the spells and uses it could be put to?"

"No, nothing."

"So, even if Cenred does get hold of it, I can't see how he can use it without a sorcerer on his side."

"Well, I'm staying right here," she said with a small smile. "Just in case you were wondering?" He smiled back. "So, it can't be used without magic?"

"No, although it doesn't need very much skill – the Cup itself does most of the work but, no, without a sorcerer or the spell, Cenred would not be able to use it."

"Could I?"

"Morgana!" he gasped. She shook her head, apparently annoyed he'd jumped to conclusions.

"I only mentioned it because Cenred might have that spell and expect me to take over from Morgause?"

"Well yes but, as you said, you're staying here." He paused, thinking. "But you're right, perhaps he is expecting you to sneak out and meet him just as you used to. Then, of course, there's the even more worrying possibility that he's found another magical ally." He sighed again. "Look, Morgana, Arthur wants us to go hunting early tomorrow – get supplies before the enemy arrives and so ...I really had better get going." Arthur had said that he shouldn't tell anyone; he had to take that instruction literally.

"I'm scared, Merlin."

"What about?"

"You are so much stronger than me. I don't just mean the magic – I mean … with how you cope with all this and … I'm afraid what will happen to me if you're not around." He frowned, wondering if she'd guessed something about tomorrow's 'hunting trip'. He walked up to her then and placed one hand on each of her shoulders.

"You _are_ strong and you do know what's right. I understand that you do not agree with me in regard to Uther but, please trust me. Things will get better, I promise."

"You promise?"

"Yes," and without even thinking about what he was doing, he pulled her closer and kissed her gently. She wrapped her arms around him, moved closer and the kiss quickly became more passionate. For a moment he revelled in the sensations; part of him wishing it didn't have to end, one part of him wishing he could take it even further and the other part of him telling him to stop, right now, or else he never would.

Luckily, the last part won - even if it did take quite a bit longer than it should have done.

xoxOxox

That night Morgana had another dream. In it she saw Merlin, Arthur and another young man she vaguely recognised, fighting in the woods with Cenred's men. As Arthur got hit, falling to the ground with an arrow in his leg, Merlin tried to catch a cup as it soared through the air and landed in the waiting hands of the enemy.

The Cup of Life.

She knew that Merlin had been keeping something from her tonight and had guessed, from everything that Uther, Arthur and Merlin had said earlier, that they would be going after the Cup. She knew it and yet didn't know how to confront Merlin without him breaking whatever oath he'd given Arthur - didn't know how to tell him of her suspicions without begging him not to leave her alone in Camelot with that monster.

She woke up suddenly with a gasp, seeing the pale touch of dawn lighting the room, and quietly got out of bed to walk to the window. There, walked their horses across the courtyard were Arthur and Merlin leaving on their supposed 'hunting trip'.

An vision then hit her in the waking world. The sight of a golden cup, full of blood, standing on a pedestal and Merlin, wielding the most beautiful sword she had every seen, slicing at it with power and determination, making the cup topple and its contents spill against a pillar. In her vision, he turned, and she imagined he was looking right at her. He looked pained, exhausted and sad. The expression on his face tore at her heart.

"It's over, Morgana."

"Don't go, Merlin. Please?" she urged, but she knew it was a futile hope – knew that he'd seen what she had and was being controlled by Fate just as surely as she had been controlled by Morgause. "Leave the cup – leave the sword," she begged. "Just stay here with me and everything will be alright."

As she said the words, the Merlin of her vision smiled at her, relief and love shining in his eyes instead of hurt and pity. At the same time, the Merlin in the courtyard suddenly turned, as if hearing a sound. He looked up at the window and saw her there and then, with a quick look over his shoulder to see if Arthur was looking, gave her a wave and smiled at her for real.

She sighed, relieved. Things _would_ get better. She knew they would.

Merlin had promised.

xoxOxox

* * *

_**A/N** Added the last few lines to leave things on a more positive note as there may be a slight delay before the next chapter - hopefully no more than a couple of weeks. _

_My tag line for this fic since chapter 2 has been ... 'dragging the plot line, kicking and screaming, back to canon,' but, due to your reviews I am doing my best to keep Morgana 'out of the loop' as that happens. __I have the next chapter's plot line sketched but nothing more and am still wondering what to do when I 'catch back up' with the end of S3. Will either try to end it nicely or put it on hold until S4 starts in the autumn. _  


_For all of you who want Morgana to remain good, I'll just say that, I am doing my best but a) this story _is_ primarily angst and b) Morgana is being typically stubborn and doing and saying lots of late S2/S3 things without_ _me having much say in it. (As most of you are writers you'll know what I mean.) _

_For me, Morgana has never been 'good' not even in S1 - that role's been taken by Merlin and Gwen but, I agree that she doesn't need to be out and out evil and that's what I'm currently exploring now - her confused and conflicted side. For me the only way to truly write Good!Morgana is to take her out of canon - which I've done in my new modern fic 'Kilgharrah's' and there's definately more Mergana sexiness in that story for those of you who like that, so feel free to give it a go if you haven't already._

As always, please check my profile page (which I update regularly), for details of my ongoing, upcoming and planned fics and feel free to send me PMs if you have any thoughts or questions.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Morgana's next vision was the worst she'd ever had. In it she was standing in Uther's place on the balcony overlooking Camelot's square; a crown on her head, and Morgause and a couple of soldiers standing by her side. In the courtyard below stood a line of knights in Camelot's colours and, in front of them, an equal number of Blood Guard soldiers holding bows.

"I will give you one last chance to pledge your allegiance to me," Morgana announced imperiously.

Far below Sir Leon smirked slightly before shouting. "Long live the King!"

"Long live the King," the other knights repeated.

"Perhaps this will help you change your mind," she said in a firmer voice before raising her hand in a gesture that was so similar to Uther's that it made her shudder. The Blood Guard soldiers all raised their weapons to point at the knights but, as Morgana's hand came down, the soldiers turned their crossbows away from the knights and toward the gathered spectators instead … and fired.

"No!" Leon's shout was nothing compared to the one she now uttered in her own bed-chambers. Although hers was more of a scream; over and over again until Gwen arrived and gathered her into a hug.

"Morgana ..."

"I wouldn't, I couldn't. Never, never. I am _not_ like him, I am not!"

"Hush now, it was just a nightmare."

"... and Merlin's gone and now there's no-one here to stop it ..."

"Merlin?" Gwen's curious question, brought her quickly back to her senses.

"... and Arthur ..." Morgana added, trying to get her head back into real time. "Arthur shouldn't have left, they should both be here – they need to be _here_."

"I know, but those two can look after themselves," Gwen said and Morgana looked at her, surprised at her strong tone. "You know it's true," her maid continued and she just nodded absent-mindedly whilst Gwen continued to hug and rock her.

xoxOxox

Morgana didn't manage to get back to sleep unfortunately but, after a long walk and Gwen working miracles on her hair and face, she looked and felt something like her old self when she joined Uther for breakfast that morning. As usual she plastered a false smile on her face and tried to stop the strange shudder that ran though her when she thought of last night's dream and how she had feared that she would turn into a copy of Uther.

How important were blood ties, she wondered. She hadn't thought of it before but, perhaps she really had no choice on how she turned out. Perhaps she was destined to become just like that vision simply because of who had fathered her. She shuddered again, forced another smile at Uther's next comment and focused on trying to eat something.

After breakfast, she sat in on the King's council meeting which contained a whole string of reports about Cenred's current activities which she only half listened to. He was gathering numerous forces to him, still at his stronghold in Escetia. There were no signs of him marching as yet, but Uther was sending various patrols out every day to collect information, gather in extra supplies, recruit more troops of their own or warn their allies about what they had learnt so far.

Morgana didn't completely ignore the conversations, instead idly wondering what was really going on, how this cup played a part in it and how Merlin was faring out there; the idiot boy most likely spending so much time trying to protect Arthur that he wouldn't give a second thought to himself and then … She shook her head, trying not to dwell on such nasty thoughts.

"What about that sorcerer?" Uther's voice brought her abruptly back to the present.

"He's in the dungeons as you instructed," said Leon. "However ..."

"Good, good. Arrange his execution for midday."

"But ..." Uther stared at the tall man until he got the hint, slowly bowing as he made his way out, whilst Morgana fumed.

That was it! Promise or no promise, there was no way she was just going to sit there and take this.

"Now? You're going to execute some random innocent today," she raved, once Leon had left. "When you're in the middle of war preparations? Now I know you're officially mad!"

"Morgana. You have no right to speak to me like that."

"I have every right. I have a duty in fact. No-one approves, you know, Uther? Did you not see Sir Leon's face? Do you not notice how they all look at you nowadays?"

"The safety of Camelot is in my hands. Whether that's a magical threat from within or a physical attack from without."

"There is no threat from within - no evil sorcerer pretending to be a commoner and plotting your downfall whilst he bakes a new batch of flatbread," she continued scornfully.

"You have no idea of the true evil of magic … of what it has done and continues to do to Camelot."

"Camelot is fine - the current danger comes from Cenred and yet, you do not see it. You send your only son out on some wild mission leaving your defences vulnerable, you waste time and resources executing the very people you profess to protect whilst, all the time, magic is actually protecting you and your precious Kingdom, and your ..."

"What? What did you say?" Uther stopped her tirade in mid flow, his face pale and she laughed at the look. Laughed at his total blindness and unwillingness to see how good magic could be for his Kingdom if only he wasn't so blinkered.

"Oh, you don't like _that_ thought, do you, Uther? And yet … I know the full truth. I know that you would use magic in a heartbeat if you believed it would work to your advantage. I know that you would and have turned to sorcery if you felt that your family was at risk."

She had overheard that when she'd been unconscious too. Heard him beg Gaius to use any means necessary, even though it had been Merlin that had eventually cast the spell that had saved her. She laughed again when she saw the look of total shock on Uther's face. What she hadn't realised was that he'd misinterpreted her comments and thought she was referring to a different event entirely.

"You cannot know that. No-one but Gaius knows."

"Oh yes, because it's so easy to keep secrets here in Camelot," she scoffed.

"No … you can't. No-one knows that about Arthur's birth, no-one."

"Wait. Arthur?" She suddenly caught up with the misunderstanding and her mind raced, trying to understand. "When did you condone using magic for Arthur's sake … his birth, you say?" Uther paled further, confirming her suspicion. There was a memory there that she was trying to grab hold of. Perhaps a vision of the old future, or something she half remembered – some gossip from a few years ago.

"That time when Arthur attacked you in the throne room – something about his mother and ..?" she continued. Uther was sitting at the table, his face ashen, both hands gripping the edge of the table. She grinned as she saw him struggle, fight to keep control or perhaps to find some excuse to justify his actions. She could revisit that 'Arthur' issue later, but now was the perfect opportunity to focus on a few facts that she knew of for certain. "Actually, I was referring to your _other_ child; the one conceived out of wedlock - the one you refused and continue to refuse to acknowledge as your flesh and blood - the one you were happy to beg Gaius to save by using magic. Your daughter … me!"

"No, no … " It was a whisper now, Uther's face had taken on a look she remembered from the time that she'd been enchanted. The look of terror and madness as she'd pulled a string on the mandrake root.

"How could you, Father?" she spat, moving into his line of view, even as he tried to move back out of it. "How could you betray your friend, lie to your son and then disown me to my face?"

"Never … I didn't."

"You did. I pleaded with you, begged you to acknowledge me but you wouldn't. That had been your last chance but now … now I owe you nothing and I will continue to fight you as you fight against magic and those I hold dear."

"You would see Camelot destroyed?"

"No, I would see _you_ destroyed."

"Do you really hate me that much?" He looked up at her with tear filled eyes but she felt no pity.

"You cannot begin to know how much I hate you," she replied, her voice cracking with emotion on the last word.

Part of her was enjoying this, revelling in how much hurt and discomfort she was causing Uther and yet, somewhere, in the back of her mind, she could see Merlin standing there with 'that' look on his face. Big, sad, tear-filled eyes – reminding her that she had broken her promise to him, that she was going about this all the wrong way. Then there was last night's vision of her on that balcony again - the feeling of joy and delight as she lowered her hand and ordered all those innocent deaths.

"I'm sorry … I …" Uther stuttered, whilst she continued to feel conflicted – wondering whether or not to keep pushing him over the edge.

"I am now going to go out there and find Sir Leon," she whispered harshly, moving a little closer. "I'm going to tell him there's been a mistake and that you're going to let that man go."

"You ... you cannot ..." A spark of sanity flared in Uther's eyes.

"In that case, I shall tell Leon of the other conversation we've just had and perhaps … I might just mention it to the Lady Carys. You know what will happen if I tell her, don't you?" Uther stared at her, wide eyed and horrified again. Yes, they all knew that if Carys got hold of the news then everyone in the Palace and half the lower town would know of it by sunset.

"Fine. He is banished then."

"No, Uther. Not until this conflict with Cenred is over. After all, you're going to need all the bakers you can get if we go to siege." She laughed again at his totally shocked look before turning on her heel and leaving the hall with a swish of purple gown.

Sir Leon did indeed seem relieved about the change of order and scurried to fulfil that command, whilst Morgana went to Gaius and told him that Uther was in need of his assistance. The old man held her gaze as she told him this and she held his, daring him to comment, until he nodded sadly, collected a few things and left the room. Morgana felt the exhaustion hit her then: The lack of sleep last night, the fight with Uther, the conflicted thoughts about the path that Destiny expected her to take and how much control she really had over any of it.

Before she had even realised what she was doing, she found herself walking slowly to the other end of the room and up the small flight of steps that lead to Merlin's bedchamber. She sat slowly on the edge of his small bed, picked up the thin pillow and raised it to her face, gently inhaling his scent whilst tears pricked her eyes. Then she threw herself head first onto the narrow cot, her face still buried in his pillow, tears now beginning to flow.

"I'm sorry, Merlin. I know you'd be disappointed in me but … you left me and … you know I'm not as strong as you are." She started to sob uncontrollably. "I miss you already. Please be safe, please come back to me."

xoxOxox

Gaius' potion had partially worked and Uther appeared to be back to his normal self the next day, although Morgana was sure that she wasn't the only one to notice that something wasn't quite right with the King. She had promised herself that she would back off a little for now because, with Arthur missing and a war threatening, the last thing Camelot needed was to have no leader at all. However, it seemed that fate was to intervene again because, it wasn't long before another message was delivered and the look on the King's face as she arrived in the council chambers told her that this was not going to be good news.

"I have a message from Cenred," Uther's voice was shaking as he read it – a mixture of anger and fear. "He says that he has captured Arthur and is holding him hostage until we meet his demands."

"What are these demands, Sire?" Leon asked.

"That I …" Uther hesitated, his eyes flicking nervously. "No … no, it's impossible and it … it makes no sense."

"Sire?"

"He asks for a ransom – a trifle - but, only on the condition that one particular person delivers it."

"Who?" Leon pushed but Uther just shook his head, refusing to answer. Morgana's heart dropped as she guessed exactly what was in that message. Hadn't Merlin and her talked of such a possibility before he'd left?

"He's asked for me, hasn't he?" she whispered.

"Why, why? It just makes no sense," Uther continued to mutter.

Of course, to Uther and the rest of the court it wouldn't make any sense at all but Morgana knew the real reason and, looking at Gaius, she guessed that he had worked it out too. He gave her a small nod and stepped forward.

"I expect he just picked someone that he felt would be no threat to him," he started, "and I agree that to let the lady Morgana go is out of the question. Perhaps I should take the ransom myself, Sire. I too would not be viewed as a threat." He looked at Morgana briefly again with a wry smile. "Even less of a threat as a matter of fact."

"Yes, yes. That does indeed make more sense," Uther agreed.

"But …" she started to object - her fear for Merlin and Arthur over-riding all other thoughts. Cenred would not let them live if she didn't show up, but Gaius quickly quietened her with a stern look and she thought perhaps he had a plan. She still didn't fully trust the old man but Merlin did and had told her to let him help, so she held her tongue and tried to avoid the curious stares of Leon and the others, knowing that pushing the matter here and now would not help Arthur and Merlin's cause at all.

xoxOxox

"You know why he's asked for me," she said as she barged into Gaius room without knocking. Her comment was not really a question and the old man knew it, simply sighing and nodding tiredly.

"Yes, he's obviously captured the cup along with the Arthur and Merlin but he doesn't know how to use it."

"Neither do I. I don't know of such a spell," she admitted.

"The chances are he already has the spell itself – what he's missing is someone who has magic enough to cast it."

"Well, actually, he already has someone far more able than me there, doesn't he?"

"Of course, but he doesn't know that. More to the point, he will be assuming that you're still on his side. He probably thinks you'll be grateful for an excuse to escape Camelot."

"I'll certainly be grateful for the excuse to get those two out of the fix they've managed to find themselves in," she said with a sigh. "What's your plan?"

"Plan? No plan, as such, I just thought it would be better for me to go. I'm not likely to get attacked, I do have a little magic to defend myself and … I'm assuming that Merlin will find a way to free Arthur long before I get there, anyway."

"Honestly? You really have that much faith in him?"

"Yes. Don't you?"

"I can't take that chance, Gaius. It has to be me. If you go Cenred will just kill you, you know he will."

"I also have the knowledge that he seeks. I could also cast the spell. Morgana … I know what you're planning but it won't work. Stay here - Merlin didn't want you involved in any of this." She glared at him before realising that she wasn't going to win this argument and that she was just going to have to do what she always did. Pretend to agree and then go and do exactly what she wanted to anyway. So, Gaius left later that day with the token ransom and Morgana waited until evening before sneaking out of the castle and following him.

xoxOxox

That night she had another dream. She saw a familiar ruined castle; Caerleon – home of the ancient kings, and there, in the vaults, was the strange old round table that Geoffrey had taught her and Arthur about during their school lessons. In this vision, her brother was standing behind it, Gwen on his left, plus Leon, Gaius and three others that she wasn't sure she recognised. They were all standing, heads held high – gazing respectfully at Arthur. All except the person to his right who was still sitting on his chair – his expression slightly amused and a little vacant.

"Merlin?" Arthur drawled.

"No, I don't really fancy it," Merlin quipped.

"You don't have a choice," Arthur retorted.

"Okay," said Merlin and quickly stood, a familiar silly grin plastered across his face before it subtly changed and he and Arthur shared a meaningful glance.

For once, Morgana awoke slowly and calmly, understanding so much about that short vision and having a strange insight into it's true meaning. It was the future, it was why everything had happened so far and why everything needed to be fixed. Was it the old future or the new future, though? Her instinct told her that it was actually both. That was alright, wasn't it? They could all stand around some old stone table without her having to turn evil? The image had been reassuring and comforting in so many ways but, there was still a nagging thought that Arthur had gathered all those that he trusted most around that ancient table – keeping them close and binding them to him – and that she was not amongst them.

That morning she made good time and quickly caught up with Gaius, but she still didn't have any real plan on how to take the old man's place. She could overtake him easily enough but then she wouldn't have the ransom with her. Not that Cenred really wanted the gold – he just needed her but, she wasn't prepared to leave Gaius to come stumbling in after her and get captured unnecessarily; Merlin certainly would never forgive her if she allowed his mentor to be hurt, and so she would have to think of some other way to solve the problem.

Morgana continued to follow and watch until the answer simply presented itself to her. She again thought of her discussions with Merlin about how that other future was trying to force itself onto the right road. She tried hard not to dwell on the fact that Fate now seemed to be happily travelling in the same direction as she was heading, or what that might mean for her own future. As she sat watching Gaius start to pack up to continue his travels, she was suddenly aware of a movement to one side, before a clear lilting voice rang out.

"Gaius, what are you doing out here?" Three young men strode into the clearing, hands on sword hilts as if unsure of what might be waiting for them. Morgana knew that she had seen two of them in the flesh before, and also that all three had appeared in that Table vision. She tried hard to remember exactly who these men were and wondered what they might have to do with Arthur's future as King.

"Lancelot, Gwaine and ah …?" Gaius looked as if he didn't know the identity of the third man either. He was a giant – taller than Leon and far broader. Gaius gaze followed him upwards and he swallowed hard.

"This is Percival," said Lancelot, "and he's far friendlier than he looks, don't you worry." At this, Percival smiled brightly and held out a hand for Gaius to shake.

"So," said the man called Gwaine, a wicked twinkle in his eye that instantly had Morgana fighting to find the memory of where she knew him from. "You still haven't answered the question, Gaius. What are you doing out here all on your own?"

"Cenred has captured Merlin and Arthur and I'm to take the ransom that will free them."

"Idiots, I'd rather hoped they would have been able to get back out of that mess by themselves," said Gwaine.

"You were with them?" Gaius asked.

"Yes, they'd just picked up this cup and then got captured by Jarl this slave trader. Well, I'd got caught too so we met up and escaped together." He pulled a face. "Well, that is to say, we briefly escaped. Then Jarl's men started to chase us again, so I was sent on a mission to find Lancelot here, whilst they went back for the cup." He gave an exaggerated sigh. "You know, Merlin did promised me that he would stay out of trouble this time."

"And you believed him?" Morgana replied, suddenly striding into the clearing. The men all drew their swords again. "Oh, do relax, boys, I'm on your side now."

"Morgana, you weren't to come," Gaius scolded.

"I tried to explain to you before, Cenred is not interested in a ransom, he just wants me. Only I stand any chance of keeping Arthur and Merlin alive and if you go instead, they'll be three of you dead instead of two."

"Why does he want you?" Lancelot asked.

"Because he thinks I'm on his side."

"And why would he think that?" Gwaine asked suspiciously.

"It's a long story."

"You can't risk it, Morgana," Gaius said. "You cannot hope to go there and play both sides."

"Why not? Who else could?"

"If he really does think that then … it might be the only chance," said Gwaine thoughtfully. "Cenred would want Camelot for himself and so, I cannot see any real reason for him to want to keep Arthur alive otherwise."

Morgana winced. She'd been trying to avoid thinking about the possibility that Cenred might be _so_ convinced of her allegiance that he would have killed his hostages already.

"We should come with you," Percival stated.

"For what reason? He thinks I'm on his side but doesn't know any of you and will probably simply kill you on sight. She turned to Gaius who was looking uncomfortable. "You know this is the only way, don't you? Merlin trusts me and so must you. You know I won't do anything to see him hurt."

"So, where does that leave us?" Gwaine asked whilst Lancelot gave her a suspicious look for her last comment. Morgana suddenly laughed brightly – remembering her dream.

"Gaius, do you know the old castle of the ancient kings?"

"I believe so."

"Go and set up a base there. I'll help Merlin and Arthur escape and send them after you. I'll do what I can to thwart Cenred's plans but, I might have to go along with him initially, just to ensure that he fully trusts me."

"Morgana. You cannot cast that spell for him – no matter what he says," Gaius pushed.

"Yes, yes, I know. Look, we've all got things to do. You lot go to Caerleon and I'll send Arthur along as soon as I can."

xoxOxox

"Morgana, at last," Cenred smiled at her as she strode into his dingy Hall, flanked by a couple of guards. She attempted to smile in return, even though the leather clad King always made her a little uneasy, even when she'd been enchanted.

"I'm sorry about the delay. Uther was doing his 'loving father' act and was quite determined that I shouldn't come."

"I didn't imagine for a moment that he would agree to my demands, but I thought the message would be enough of an excuse for you to know to come here."

"And you've really captured Arthur?"

"Oh yes, that bit was true. Him and his scrawny servant."

"They're still alive?" she asked, trying to only sound mildly curious.

"I didn't want to miss the opportunity of seeing Arthur's face when he realised who's side you were on," he replied gleefully. "And, seeing how attached he is to his servant, I thought that they could both guarantee the other's good behaviour if either of them got any clever ideas."

"That sounds like fun," she smirked, whilst inwardly giving a sigh of relief at the news.

"_Merlin?" _She had tried to send him a silent message as she approached the castle but had received no response. Now she knew that he was alive and was probably physically closer, it was worth another try.

"_Morgana? What …?" _Was all she could get in reply. Not that she couldn't guess the rest of his question.

"_We couldn't think of any other way," _she responded. Trying to make Merlin understand that Gaius had … well, if not exactly approved of her plan, had at least gone along with it eventually. There was no further response, but right now she had other things to focus on.

"So, why did you summon me anyway, Cenred?" she continued.

"I'm going to attack Camelot and I thought you might like to come along," he replied lightly, as if he were simply asking her to join him on a picnic.

"Well, you know I would never object to any plan that would help overthrow and kill Uther but, there's got to be more to it than that."

"Oh, there is ..." He paused, turning to look at the door with a sudden wicked smile. "Ah … here they are. Look at this, Arthur. Morgana has come all this way to deliver Uther's ransom to me in person. Isn't that kind of her?" Morgana looked around to see her brother and Merlin being dragged into the hall by a couple of Cenred's guards. They looked tired and dirty but, other than that, seemed unharmed.

"Morgana? Why are you here? You shouldn't have come." Arthur seemed rather more concerned than angry. Merlin, however, was glaring daggers at her.

"_Trust me,"_ she thought at him, but he just shook his head, obviously not happy with her being there.

"She came because I called," Cenred beamed. "She came because she wishes to join me when I take Camelot and become its King."

"No. That is not true," Arthur disagreed giving her a pleading look, whilst she tried hard to act her part and smirked at him in reply. "I will not believe it. My father successfully conquered a Kingdom in disarray, the people welcomed a strong ruler but you? They will not accept you when there is a legitimate heir to take over."

"Oh, but there will be," Cenred smirked, "but it won't be you, Arthur. You will be long dead, I can assure you. However, you are not Uther's only child ..."

"What? Of course I am." Merlin groaned and Morgana winced as Cenred stepped closer to the Prince, his eyes now bright.

"Shall I tell him, Morgana or would you like the honour?" She avoided Merlin gaze, having already made her choice. Uther should have told them both but, as that wasn't going to happen, Arthur at least deserved to hear it from someone who understood how much this was going to hurt.

"Uther is my father too, Arthur." She saw his eyes widen, and forced herself to keep looking at him, no matter how much it hurt. "I'm sorry. I only recently found out myself."

"What? That can't be true. Is he threatening you or something?"

"He had an affair with my mother, Arthur. Of course, he didn't bother to tell either of us that. Didn't bother to explain that we were siblings." The bitterness had quickly returned to her voice.

"But …"

"So, of course, that solves all of your concerns," said Cenred, obviously revelling in watching the total shock and dismay in Arthur's eyes. "I have the cup of life and the spell that will create an immortal army to overthrow Uther. I now also have Morgana here who can use her magic to cast the spell ..."

"What?" Arthur interrupted.

"Oh sorry, did we forget to tell you that one too?" Cenred gloated. "Yes, Morgana has magic and will turn my men into an immortal army and then, once we've taken Camelot, I shall marry her and become the legitimate King of Camelot."

"What?" Morgana turned a horrified look at the grinning King.

"No!" Arthur and Merlin both shouted together.

xoxOxox

* * *

_**A/N.** Hey, I'm back … with another annoying cliffie! Luckily, this and chapter six have been written together so it won't be long until the next update._

_Even when my life got back to normal, I still found I couldn't get back to this fic. I read my notes and realised they were a series of plot knots and, no matter what I did, I just kept getting into even more of a tangle. Trying to get all the important parts of 3.13 to happen without Morgana _or_ Morgause as the bad guys was a nightmare but, eventually, I began to get everything into some sort of order._

_I tried to have Gwaine explain the changes but, just to clear things up. In this time line Jarl captured Arthur and Merlin _after_ they'd retrieved the cup and then threw them in his dungeon where they meet Gwaine and escape with him as before. However, Merlin then sends Gwaine off to fetch Lancelot, whilst he and Arthur try to get the cup back from Jarl. However, the slaver simply captures them again and, now knowing that he has the Prince, takes his prisoners and the loot straight to Cenred for a big reward. Phew! A few knots now untangled, several more to go ;)_


	6. Chapter 6

_This alternative time line has now almost caught up with the end of Series 3 and so, during this chapter, we follow an alternative Morgana time-line whilst Merlin experiences much of the same events that happened in 3.13 'off-screen', so to speak. You really do need to have watched that episode for this chapter to fully make sense._

* * *

**Chapter Six**

"You mean to say you don't want to marry me, Morgana?" Cenred pouted, putting a hand over his heart. "I'm hurt."

Morgana's glared at him. That had definitely not been in her game plan and yet, as she thought about it, she realised that it would make sense on so many levels as far as Cenred was concerned. Her mind was now racing as she tried to focus on all the things that were going on here. How had she ever thought that this would be easy?

"_Morgana. You cannot cast that spell. Not for any reason." _She looked up at Merlin and gave a short nod. He was absolutely right, of course but … how could she get out of it? "_I need your help. He has something of mine – something important," _he continued.

_"How can I get it to you?"_

"Well now, it's late," Cenred continued, interrupting their silent conversation. "Return these two to their cell and then I'll show you to your quarters, my lady, and you can make the necessary preparations for casting the spell tomorrow."

"Wait ..." she said, her mind working furiously. "Do you mean to say that you're keeping these two together? In the _same_ cell?" She glanced at Merlin who gave a subtle grin and a nod.

"It has been useful to ensure their good behaviour."

"Do you not have _any_ idea what happens when these two put their heads together?" she asked, in a similar tone to the one Morgause often used on Cenred and, apparently, appeared to have much the safe effect. He glared at her for a moment before hesitating and suddenly seeming uncertain.

"Ah …"

"Arthur's strategic knowledge and Merlin's improvisational skills together? Do you know how many places they've managed to escape from in the past?" Arthur glared at her and she smiled sweetly back, fighting hard not to react to the look of anger and hurt she could see in his eyes.

"No, I see. You make a good point." Cenred turned to the guards. "Put them in separate cells but, next door to each other so that Pendragon can still hear his servant's screams if we need him to behave." Arthur wriggled furiously against his chains and Morgana saw Merlin's mouth move subtly, urging his master to calm down and trust him." Morgana smirked a little. Once Merlin was on his own, he could easily use magic to escape but, he obviously wouldn't do that yet because he was missing something important.

"_What do you need?"_

"_It's a small vial of water – housed in a wooden cage. It's magical and very important. Cenred took it off me along with all our weapons. It's in my bag – bring it to me – tonight?"_

"_Yes, of course," _Morgana agreed as the two young men were lead away.

"May I see the spell?" she asked Cenred calmly once they'd gone.

"Certainly," he replied, handing the scroll to her.

"Where did you find this?" she asked as she opened it, looking at the words nervously. Her training had not progressed especially far; just one year of intense training with Morgause, with neither her nor Merlin having had much time to continue with her instruction after that. This was a long spell too, with some especially tricky pronunciation. Perhaps that might work in her favour. Perhaps she wouldn't have the ability to cast it after all and that would solve all of their problems.

"It was on a Druid that we captured recently," Cenred replied to her earlier question. "A bit of a gift, to be honest; he didn't even need to be tortured to explain its contents to me." Morgana scoffed at this and Cenred laughed. He'd misunderstood her reaction though. The Druid had no doubt set him up in exactly the same way they'd set Sir Leon up with the Cup of Life. Merlin had been right - yet again. Fate was using all her creatures to assist her back on the right path, whether they were aware of the fact or not.

"If he was a Druid, why didn't you keep him on?" she asked. "I'm sure he would have found this far easier to cast than me."

"He said he didn't have magic."

"And you believed him?" she scoffed.

"Not at first but then we _did_ torture him and … well, I guess he was speaking the truth after all." Cenred gave her one of his usual lecherous smiles and she attempted to return it, whilst trying not to let the anger show at his comment.

The whole point of Morgause's plan had been to bring magic back and free their kin from oppression. In which case, killing magic folk rather defeated the purpose. This Druid may or may not have had magic himself, but he was from a group that welcomed it, encouraged it; those that should be their allies, not their enemy. Not that this was the right time to raise such concerns.

"Still, this is a complex spell and I'm sure Morgause told you that I'm not that able yet."

"Actually, she told me that you have a very great power, just that it is not yet fully realised. I have every faith in your ability, Morgana. In fact, I believe this is our destiny. You are a seer, after all. Do you not agree? Have you not seen such a future?" She laughed again, quite aware that it had a rather manic edge to it. To be honest, it probably wasn't worth worrying about. She could do her best to say the spell and whether or not it worked would probably have absolutely nothing to do with her anyway.

However, she still wanted to avoid that scenario if she could possibly help it and, the most important job of all was to find Merlin's vial and help him and Arthur escape.

XoxOxox

There were a couple of soldiers outside her door, but whether they were there to guard or protect, she didn't know. However, she now always carried a few small bottles on her person and Cenred appeared to trust her enough not to have had her searched when she arrived. Luckily the guards here were just as stupid as the ones at Camelot and were only too happy to share the drink that she offered them. Once she was confident the men were fast asleep, she ran down to the hall and quickly recognised Arthur's sword thrown in one corner of the room. Next to it lay another plain one and two small carrying bags. Quickly rummaging through the well worn one, she found what Merlin had asked for and studied the strange object curiously for a moment before scurrying off to the cells.

"_Merlin?"_ She threw the thought at him silently as she peered through the small cage door that had shown a mop of dark hair lying on a mat rather than blond.

He quickly sat up with his usual broad grin that made her heart skip and, as she held up the vial, it grew even wider. With one finger held quickly to his lips, he walked to the door, held out the other hand towards the lock and quietly opened the door with magic, before pulling her gently inside.

"You can escape, that easily?" she asked, slightly offended as he took the small object from her.

"Not whilst I was in the same room as Arthur and not without this," he replied, holding it up. "Thank you."

"What is it?" she asked, trying to ignore the jolt she felt on hearing such obvious gratitude in his voice.

"Something I need," was his unhelpful answer as he put it in the inside pocket of his jacket.

"Merlin …?" Her next question was quickly silenced by his lips pressing urgently against hers and she stumbled, caught unawares, until her back ended up against the cell wall. In their most recent encounters, she had always been the one who had initiated such things and so she was quite shocked at his sudden urgency, his passion, the way he pressed himself firmly against her body and kissed her very, very deeply. Not allowing herself to stay shocked for long, she wrapped her arms around his neck and gave as good as she got; savouring the warmth, the taste and the feel of him. It was just a shame that this was not an appropriate place to let such things get seriously out of hand. Merlin pulled back from her, his cheeks flushed and a soppy grin on his face.

"Now that's the most fun I've ever had in a prison cell," he whispered, "and I've been in a fair few."

"What now?" she asked with a giggle.

"You go back, we can't risk Cenred suspecting anything. I've got ..." he paused. "... things to do."

"Such as?"

"Not now," he said, shaking his head and opening the door again.

"Merlin, I don't understand. You can escape now, free Arthur, give one of your usually silly excuses and go."

"I know but … not quite yet."

"It'll be alright, I met up with Gwaine and your other friends on the way here, I sent them to the old castle of Caerleon, the seat of the ancient kings. Arthur knows where it is, you can meet them there."

"Thank you." Merlin said with a broad smile. "Now, go … be careful," he continued and then frowned, a flash of anger suddenly appearing in his eyes. "... and make sure you lock your door tonight."

"Why, Merlin. Are you jealous?" He glared at her and she grinned, suddenly understanding the reason for his rather passionate welcome earlier. "As if I would ..." She moved closer again, both hands on his face and they fell into another brief but passionate kiss.

"Go ..." he urged, and she quickly closed the door on him and grinned as she saw him hold the other side of the lock and his eyes glow gold as he locked himself back in.

She returned to her bedchamber, stepping over the quietly snoring guard and after a brief attempt at sleep, got up and moved to the window instead. After a little while, she saw a familiar tall, skinny figure, running across an open bit of field before quickly disappearing under the trees. She frowned as she noticed that he was on his own and remembered their earlier conversation about now not being the time for an escape.

"What are you up to, Merlin?"

xoxOxox

The following morning Morgana was standing next to Cenred with his army in front of them and the Cup of Life standing on a plinth in front of her. Her mind was still reeling, debating whether or not she should try to cast the spell and see what happened or whether she should refuse or stall. It would also help if she knew whether Arthur had also managed to escape last night.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" Cenred's voice had an edge to it that made her rather nervous.

"Ah ... well, it is a bit difficult, as I said. Perhaps there's another way …"

"Or, perhaps you are not really on my side at all," he said, his eyes flashing. "Perhaps you need an extra incentive?"

"I-I don't understand what you mean." She looked at him again, nervous that he seemed a lot less happy than he had yesterday. Cenred nodded at a guard who moved out of the hall and she stared back at the King's eyes, knowing that, for some reason, he did not trust her any more.

"I saw you last night," he hissed. "With … that serving boy and his dirty hands ... all over you."

"Ah, you see, it's just that …"

"What were you plotting with him, Morgana?"

"Nothing just … just playing both sides, you know? He … always had a soft spot for me when we were younger and so … I was just trying …"

"No, you don't fool me. I saw that kiss - that was no play acting." He looked up brightly. "Anyway, that's beside the point, they're both here now and regardless of what was really going on last night, I suspect that a knife to either one of these pretty throats will ensure your full co-operation." Morgana looked up shocked to find both Arthur and Merlin being pulled into the hall.

"_I thought you escaped?"_

"_Had an errand to run," _was his enigmatic reply. She frowned as she looked at him closer, his expression haggard, his eyes bloodshot and hollow in their sockets. It looked as if he'd spent most of the night crying.

"_Merlin?"_

"Now what?" Arthur grumbled as the pair were dragged to the front and their heads pulled back roughly by their hair. A knife was then placed on each throat and Cenred turned back to Morgana with a smile.

So, which one first, Morgana? Your precious brother? Will that hurt you after all this? Do you really think of him as Uther's son or do you still have some sisterly feelings for him? The knife was pressed against Arthur's neck a little and he winced as a little blood appeared.

"No ..." Merlin's strangled objection was also silenced by the knife pressing against his throat and she gasped. Cenred saw her horrified reaction and grinned.

"And then again, Merlin here looks like that will be the decision that upsets him the most which, in turn, might just upset you but … what I'm really wondering is - which one of their deaths will _inspire_ you?"

"Morgana, don't do anything he says," Arthur urged.

"He's right," Merlin agreed. "If you do this, we're all dead anyway."

"_I'm sorry, Merlin. I can't watch you die …"_

"_Please …"_

"_He'll kill Arthur, Merlin. You know he will." _The warlock's shoulders slumped in defeat and she quickly turned back to Cenred.

"Alright, I promise that I'll do my best but … that's still no guarantee this will work, you do realise that?"

xoxOxox

The whole army had been made immortal, everyone except her and Cenred. She had been a bit surprised about that but he had simply said that he had his reasons, before informing her that she was travelling with him and the army to march on Camelot immediately.

She'd tried to send a silent message to Merlin but nothing was really getting through, almost certainly because she was exhausted from the spell and nervous about what was going to happen next. She was now a prisoner herself, her hands bound by rope as she was lifted unceremoniously in front of Cenred to ride with him on his horse. She grumbled and cursed at him for this undignified treatment but he just laughed.

"Relax, my lady, you may was well get used to being this close to me. I can assure you that it won't be long before we get even closer that this and I promise you that I will quickly make you forget all about your skinny little serving boy."

"Never." Although even she didn't know if she was referring to getting close to Cenred or forgetting about Merlin.

"Trust me. I can give you far more pleasure than some ... child." She fought her bindings a little more at this. "I do understand," he continued with mock sympathy. "You were brought up to be innocent on your wedding night but decided that wasn't for you. Decided to have a bit of fun with a servant – someone disposable – someone that would make your father really mad if he ever found out?"

"It's not like that … you're disgusting!"

"The problem with you girls is that you can't seem to separate fun and feelings. Morgause was one of the few that every could - more than a match for me but you? You thought you could have your fun, roll around with the boy and then move on but … you fell for him, didn't you? No idea why someone like that would …"

"Merlin's ten times the man you'll ever be," she spat.

"Not for much longer, he won't be."

"What? What do you mean?"

"Oh, come on, Morgana. Did you really think I'd let them live? How do you expect us to become King and Queen of Camelot if Arthur's still alive?" He turned to his right. "You two. Go to the cells and finish off the prisoners." He moved his head forwards so that his face was along side hers and she snarled at him, trying to pull away. "Kill the servant first."

"No!" she gasped as Cenred chuckled in her ear. _"Merlin, can you hear me?" _She pushed the desperate thought towards the castle, even though she was probably too far away. _"They're coming to kill you and they're immortal. Get out of there. Run. Please."_

xoxOxox

She felt tears pricking on the long journey to Camelot but she refused to let them fall. Surely he'd got one of her desperate messages? She'd just kept sending them, long after she knew she was well out of range but surely, even if he hadn't, he could use magic to defend himself? The soldiers may be immortal but Merlin was so powerful – he must be an exception to the rule – he must know of a way to destroy them. She tried hard not to worry about how concerned he had been about her casting that spell. How scared he seemed to be about Cenred's immortal army. Surely, he or Gaius or … someone would have the solution.

XoxOxox

As they approached Camelot, Cenred was talking about killing every one of the knights that approached, any person who put up a fight, but Morgana begged him to let her ask for the city's surrender, even though she was quite aware how bad this would make her look in the eyes of the people. She asked to be untied, promising Cenred that she'd behave, and then rode next to him at the head of the army, announcing to the whole of Camelot that, although they came in peace to return magic to the Kingdom, they rode at the head of an immortal army and would not hesitate to use force against any who tried to object.

She was sounding more and more like the Morgana from her visions, she realised. More and more like the enemy. Was this how it had happened before? With her actually meaning the words that she now only pretended to believe? Would she carry on acting for so long that she would eventually forget who she was and become a copy of Uther? Tears threatened again but she held onto the images of last night's dream. The same comforting images of The Round Table, with Merlin and Arthur now apparently smiling right at her; as she desperately hung onto the hope that this really could be the future and they might still be alive.

XoxOxox

The takeover had been quick and efficient. Uther was in the dungeons – something she encouraged, both so that she could continue to make him suffer and so she could keep him alive for Arthur and Merlin's sake. She was back in her old room, Gwen attending her, and Cenred had taken Uther's room as his own, constantly saying how very much nicer this castle was and that perhaps he would keep this as his main base, after all.

Every night Morgana had seen the image of that table and, each time, it became less and less comforting, something about it pushing at her, nagging at her and then, suddenly she realised what it was. Two people sitting around that table were not there; they were still here in Camelot.

She sat up with a cry to find Gwen by her side.

"You have to go to him," Morgana urged. "You and Sir Leon have to go and find Arthur."

"I can't leave you here with _him_," Gwen disagreed. "You know I can't."

"You have to, you must. He and Merlin are there, planning and waiting. They need you and Leon or … or it won't work."

"What won't work?"

"I-I don't know but … Gwen, you have to trust me and I know … I know how much you miss him, how much you want to be with him."

"Yes but ... Morgana, I still don't understand. For a while you seemed to be against that – I thought you were against all of us and then … we were suddenly friends again and then you come marching in here with an army declaring you're going to be Queen and … I find it hard to know who to trust any more."

"I know but … I was enchanted too." She decided it was time to admit the truth to her friend.

"What? That old man?" Gwen asked and Morgana frowned, having forgotten about him. Who was he and how did he fit into that scenario? Her memories of the time she'd been under Morgause's spell were not always reliable so she wasn't sure she could recall much but for now she simply nodded.

"Yes, he enchanted me so that I would expose you and make everyone think that it was Arthur that had been put under a spell."

"Yes but ..." Gwen appeared to be struggling with the logic of Morgana's excuse, so she quickly pushed her off course again. "I know that bit wasn't true, Gwen. I know you're both in love and I approve - honestly I do. Even if I do think you're far too good for Arthur," she finished with a sly grin.

"Morgana – you can't say that," Gwen replied with a laugh.

"Will you go to them? Please?" She held her friend's gaze and she eventually nodded, smiling as she saw the genuine relief in her mistress' gaze.

"Morgana? Who is it that you're really worried about?"

"What do you mean?"

"It's Merlin, isn't it? I hear you call his name at night and I … came looking for you once and saw you asleep on his bed."

"What?" She was shocked for a moment until she remembered that time she'd gone to see Gaius and had fallen asleep, exhausted. She glared at her friend for the cheeky look she was now giving her.

"Look, he wasn't even there at the time, alright?"

"I know but ..." She moved a little closer, "... I bet you wish he had been."

"Gwen, behave!" she exclaimed as they both burst into giggles.

"What a pair we make," Gwen sighed. "Both falling for the one we can never have."

"When Arthur's king, I'm sure he'll make an exception for you."

"... and then he'll have no excuse not to allow you to have the one that you want either." Morgana sighed. She had to admit that she'd really been trying not to think that far ahead.

"Gwen. Honestly, what do you think Arthur's reaction would be to the idea of Merlin courting me?" Her friend winced a little. "Exactly. Look, none of that's important at the moment. I'm under virtual house arrest here, Leon is imprisoned and I'm sure Cenred is watching you closely too. How are you going to escape?"

"Well," said Gwen with a sudden, surprisingly wicked grin lighting up her face. "I have had a thought about that, as it happens."

xoxOxox

Morgana heard the alarm bells ring the following night and was informed by Cenred the next day that her maid and one of the knights had escaped.

"I wonder, my dear, if you had anything to do with that?" he asked suspiciously.

"Me? No, although I admit that I'm not surprised. Gwen grew up with Leon and is especially close to him. She would not have been happy to hear he was due for execution in a couple of days time."

"Wasn't she the one that was supposed to be in love with Arthur?" he asked, confused.

"Ah yes, and I expect they've both gone off to try and find him."

"You didn't tell her that he was dead?"Cenred asked with another frown.

"There was no point." She sighed rather over dramatically before continuing. "You've heard what they're all saying? None of them truly believe it – they all expect him to come and save them all."

"It's highly annoying," said Cenred. "I should have waited and brought the body back as proof."

"Yes, you probably should have," said Morgana with a sly smile. "Tell me, Cenred. Did those two guards you sent to do the deed ever catch back up with us?" The King looked at her wide eyed before suddenly rushing out of the door in a panic. Morgana laughed brightly and happily accepted the escort back to her room.

XoxOxox

It was one of the best sleeps Morgana had ever had. There were no visions, no strange dreams about how wrong everything was, in fact she remembered nothing at all other than falling quickly asleep in her own comfortable bed and then being woken up by a gentle whisper in her ear and a quiet push on her mind.

"_Morgana." _

"Merlin!" She sat up with a jump to see him leaning over her, his pale face dirty and his eyes nervous. Morgana threw her arms around him enthusiastically and pulled him into a passionate kiss but, just like old times, he only allowed it for a moment before gently pushing her away, his face pink and his eyes wild. "What, you didn't seem to object last time? In fact last time, I seem to remember that you …"

"Morgana," he hissed. "I've not exactly come on my own, you know?"

"More secrets, Merlin?" said a vaguely familiar voice from somewhere near the main door. "Exactly how many reasons are you trying to find to have the Pendragons kill you?"

"Don't you start, Lancelot," Merlin muttered. "We need your help, Morgana, I think the Cup of Life is being held in the council chambers but … it's very heavily guarded and I wondered if you'd come with us – we could do with an extra sword."

"Except that I don't have one," she said, quickly rummaging in the chest for trousers and the rest of her fighting outfit. "Cenred doesn't exactly trust me at the moment."

"That's alright, Lancelot's got a spare." He lowered his voice to a whisper. "And he knows I've got magic too."

"Lancelot? Of course," she called out loudly from behind her dressing screen. "You were there with Gaius and the other two?"

"That's right, my lady."

"So, where's Arthur?" she asked Merlin.

"Down in the dungeons, trying to free Uther," Merlin replied and she pulled a face, glad he couldn't see her expression. "Honestly, we need to get to that cup, otherwise none of us stand a chance."

"How can we stand any chance at all?" She asked coming out from behind the screen and moving towards the door. She took the sword Lancelot offered with a smile and held it up to Merlin. "I mean, this is hardly going to work against someone who can't die."

"No, but that's not what we need you for," he replied. "Ready?" She nodded. "Come on then …"

"What's going on?" she whispered to Lancelot.

"Merlin's pulled something impressive out of his box of tricks, as usual," the handsome knight said with a fond smile. "However, it's easier for him if we … soften up the enemy first." She frowned still not understanding when two guards suddenly rounded the corner on the attack and she and Lancelot threw themselves in front of Merlin and started to fight.

Her guard was keeping her too occupied to see what was going on, but Morgana was suddenly aware of a strange sound and a warm rush of air behind her and, briefly distracted, she stumbled and fell on the floor. Luckily Lancelot was instantly there, countering her opponent's attack and drawing the soldier's attention towards him instead. Her eyes turned quickly to Merlin and she blinked as she saw him holding the most beautiful sword she had ever seen firmly in two hands; his eyes focusing on Lancelot's fight, his feet firmly planted in a fighting stance ready to strike.

"Now!" Lancelot shouted, shoving the soldier towards Merlin with such force that the enemy stumbled, allowing the warlock to meet his sword with ease and then quickly run him through. The soldier exploded.

Morgana gasped at the sight, her eyes once more falling greedily on to the sword he was carrying.

"Got any more of those?" she asked and Merlin grinned at her hungry expression.

"No, just this one."

"Can I have a go?"

"Certainly not."

"Ah, no offence, Merlin, but your sword skills are … not the best and if I were to have that then …"

"I said _no_, Morgana. This sword does not belong to you," he continued firmly.

"Who does it belong to then? You?"

"It's ... on loan and only I am allowed to wield it right now."

"But ..." He turned a rare glare on her and she took a small step back at the sight. She'd mostly seen the softer side of Merlin recently and had started to forget that time in the under-croft when she'd encountered the powerful sorcerer for the first time and been scared of what she saw. Now, here he was again and faced with that glare she suddenly felt as if she was about five.

"Let's get moving, quickly. Arthur and the others won't be able to hold out for long," Merlin urged.

Now that Morgana understood the strategy, the trio moved quickly; she and Lancelot fighting and subduing the immortal guards and then pushing them Merlin's way as they started to loose their footing or rhythm. The council chambers themselves held a bigger challenge and, during the fierce fighting, Lancelot was struck and was soon struggling to be of much help. Morgana was therefore left fighting the final guard in the room and was beginning to tire, when Merlin came up from behind and stabbed him with his impressive sword before turning to run towards the cup. The door opened then and Cenred charged in screaming curses at Merlin, but he was far too slow. The warlock had already reached the plinth and with one strong stroke, he knocked the cup off with the magical sword, spilling the blood and breaking the enchantment.

The force of the swing had made Merlin stagger. That or exhaustion after his numerous sword fights but, either way, Cenred was still heading straight for him and he had no time to counter the attack. Morgana was too far away to reach but … she did have another weapon at her disposal, even if it usually wasn't very reliable.

"No!" she yelled, throwing both hands out towards Cenred as he ran. "Oferswíðe," she shouted and Cenred flew though the air and landed heavily against one of the stone pillars before falling to the ground, motionless. Merlin looked up, slightly bemused.

"Nice shot," he said calmly and Morgana looked back, stunned at what she had managed to do. "Don't worry," he continued, and the look he gave her tore at her heart. "It's over, Morgana."

xoxOxox

"So," Merlin said, walking into her room as she opened the door to his knock. "I brought you up your sleeping draft, my lady."

"Really? I didn't ask for it and I notice this is the first time you've done so since … you've been back."

"Well, things have been a bit crazy here, obviously." He smothered a huge yawn with his hand, proving the point.

"Of course. So, where is that sword of yours now?"

"I told you, it wasn't mine, I was just borrowing it."

"So, it's back with it's true owner?" she pushed and he tipped his head, thinking about it.

"It's _waiting_ for it's true owner," he decided eventually.

"And here I was thinking that now I'd learnt your secret I'd know everything about you but, it's not as simple as that is it, Merlin?"

"No," he said with a shrug. "Sorry."

"And the vial?"

"Not needed any more …" He sighed again, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. "Look, you're right ... there are still things I can't tell you. It's not a matter of whether or not I trust you … it's just stuff that I can't share; promises I've made to others, other people's secrets, things that others need to know first. I understand that you want me to be totally honest with you, Morgana but … I can't." He looked up at her again and held his arms out wide. "This is me, this is who and what I am. If you want my friendship than you have to accept that too."

"And, if I want _more_ than your friendship?" She asked, moved quickly towards him and kissing him soundly. He allowed it for quite a long time, although it never became as passionate as the time in Cenred's prison.

"Then you'll have to accept a lover without a head, probably," he replied once they'd eventually parted.

"Merlin!"

"Well, this hasn't changed anything, has it? Not as far as Uther and Arthur are concerned."

"Arthur's a hypocrite."

"Morgana! I thought you said …"

"Oh, come on. You know how he feels about _my_ servant, why shouldn't I feel the same way about his?"

"Ah … the same?" Merlin asked wide eyed and she grinned at his discomfort, even if she agreed this probably wasn't the time for that sort of confession. "Anyway, you'll probably have to find another maid now. Arthur's using his new knights as an excuse to promote Gwen too."

"Yes, I thought he would. Is Uther not complaining?"

"Uther's not doing very much of anything at the moment." He frowned and looked up at her curiously. "What happened to him, Morgana? I mean, I know he was a little unstable before we left but now …?"

"I don't know – I was under house arrest for most of the time," she answered quickly, but Merlin glared at her, apparently not at all convinced. "Alright. He knows that I know I'm his daughter," she admitted eventually.

"Morgana!"

"Well, we just got into one of our arguments and I accused him of condoning magic when it suited him and he got confused about … something to do with Arthur's birth?" She saw Merlin flinch and she sighed, "and you know all about that too, don't you?"

"Yes but, again, I can't talk about it." He sighed. "So, do you think Uther ... thinks that you know ... about ... that, as well as you being his daughter?" he winced at his own bad phrasing.

"I'm not sure. Perhaps?" She looked at him apologetically but he just groaned and sat down on the edge of her bed, his head now in his hands.

"Merlin?" She moved to sit next to him and put an arm around his shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"It's all right, Morgana. I suppose it had to come out eventually." To her surprise he moved a little closer to her, resting his head on his shoulder with another sigh.

"What's wrong?"

"So tired ..." he murmured and she laughed gently.

"I'm not surprised. Here, just rest." She moved her free hand up to his head and gently stroked his hair. He smiled at the gesture and moved his head a little, burying his face in her long hair.

"That's nice ..." It was almost a whisper.

"Sshh," she said, continuing to stroke his hair and trying not to laugh at the small contented sounds he was making. It seemed as if he was about to start purring at any moment. "Just rest," she insisted, still stroking his hair.

"Rest ... yes," he murmured. "That would be … nice."

He stilled on her shoulder and she smiled again, slowly lowering him onto her bed as gently as she could. She let his head lay on her pillow, lifted his feet up until they were on the bed and then covered his body with her richly embroidered quilt.

"Sleep, you poor, overworked sorcerer," she said, tucking the quilt around his shoulders and placing a gentle kiss on his cheek. "You've nothing more to worry about today; no annoying Princes to order you about, no mad Kings to threaten you and no wicked sorceress trying to kill you." She stroked his hair a little more and he gave a contented sigh, now apparently asleep. Morgana got up slowly so she wouldn't wake him, quietly locked her door – just in case – and then sat down in front of her mirror and stared at her reflection. "Nothing more to worry about," she repeated as she starting to brush her long dark hair.

"Not today, anyway."

XoxOxox

* * *

_**A/N.** Yeah, I've caught up with the end of Series 3! I was actually heading towards a sexy ending but Merlin said he was too tired!_

_I hope that not seeing Merlin's pov wasn't too confusing. Honestly, so much of his story was identical to 3.13 that I really didn't see the point but, just in case you were wondering …_

_Once Merlin was apart from Arthur and had the vial, he talked to Freya, let himself out of jail, called Kilgharrah and fetched the sword, before locking himself back in. When Cenred sent the immortal guard to him, he ran him through with the sword, 'killed' the other and then freed Arthur - giving some daft excuse. Then they went off to the old castle, met up with all the others around the table and from then on it was almost exactly the same as 3.13 with just a few changes in the climatic scene (Morgana instead of Gaius, Cenred instead of Morgause)._

_So, almost everything is in the right place. Uther's mad and it's still mostly Morgana's fault. The knights of the round table have been formed, the sword is now in the stone and Cenred is dead. There are only a couple of things now 'wrong', the main one of which is, of course, Morgana, who is now _not _totally evil (although still likely to cause trouble) and also knows Merlin's secret._

_Feel free to check out my profile page which I'm updating regularly and do send me a PM at any time if you have any questions, thoughts, or ideas that wouldn't work in a review._

_**Edit: 11/2/12:** So, after loads of (friendly) grumbles about the lack of sexy ending, I quickly decided that I wanted to add at least one more chapter. I've no idea why I ended it like that anyway, as I said – blame Merlin! I'm still not sure about continuing this AU line through Series 4, but I am now opening this back up to 'In Progress' ready for CHAPTER SEVEN!_


	7. Chapter 7

**_A/N: _**_ Well, I did say this might not be the end and so, after loads of pleas for a sexy 'ending', I decided to add a little more! This chapter starts shortly after 3.13.  
_

_As we can't link in our PP at the moment, edit this address to see a fun SM pic I played around with! _

i131 (dot) photobucket (dot) com/albums/p283/jaqtkd/tumblr_lzccqoqtQ51qhkn7y (dot) png

* * *

**Chapter Seven**

As Merlin awoke he was quickly aware that he was in bed; a luxury he certainly hadn't been able to enjoy for some time but, more than that, he was lying in a very comfortable bed. The mattress beneath him was soft, the covers over him thick and warm and, as for the pillows, he couldn't remember ever feeling anything like them under his head before. In his hand, perhaps, while he was changing the sheets on Arthur's bed but ...

With that thought he very slowly, nervously opened his eyes and froze as he saw Morgana's green eyes staring right back at him, her face very close to his and an amused expression playing across her face. It was still dark outside, but candles were flickering merrily around the room and Merlin suddenly had the feeling that she had only just come into the bed with him and it was that action that had woken him up.

"You've been asleep for a couple of hours," she said with a gentle smile. "How are you feeling?"

"Ah ... why am I in your bed?"

"You fell asleep." He quickly rummaged under the covers and noted with relief that, with the exception of his boots, he was still fully clothed. Morgana, he noticed wasn't. At least, she was only wearing a nightdress - leaning up on one elbow as she contemplated him, tempting his eyes down to the top of her bodice where they really had no business straying. He gave a muffled yelp.

"You're not dressed," he observed, closing his eyes tightly.

"I'm dressed appropriately for bed," she disagreed, "and I was beginning to feel a little tired. Just because I let you sleep in my bed, doesn't mean that I have to sleep on the floor. What's wrong with my nightdress anyway? Don't you like it?"

He automatically opened his eyes at the question and licked his lips as he again found himself unable to resist looking down at the hints of tempting curves he could see under the soft white silk of her nightdress. "Beautiful," he gasped.

"I'm sure that you must still be tired," she continued with a small, delighted smile at his reaction. "Why don't you try to get back to sleep?"

"What? Here, with you?"

"You're fully dressed, what's the problem?"

"Morgana, it's hardly proper."

"Oh shush, and give me a kiss," she countered and, before he knew what was happening, she had moved suddenly closer and slid one arm under his so she could press herself up against him. As he opened his mouth to object she took full advantage, kissing him greedily and Merlin, quite unable to resist, responded whole-heartedly, putting his own arms around her waist and pulling her even closer.

The kiss became instantly more intense then, with Morgana making some delicious noises and not even trying to object to how intimately he was holding her, instead wriggling her hips in a way that quickly drove him crazy. Still half asleep, he allowed it for a while but, when her hands suddenly slipped up his shirt and caressed his bare skin, the full reality of the situation dawned on him and he pulled away from her abruptly.

"Morgana, we can't ..."

"Can't what, Merlin?" she asked with a mock innocent smile.

"I shouldn't be here. You know what would happen if anyone found me in your bed? I might as well just announce I'm a sorcerer - you know the result would be the same either way."

"You're right that we do need to be very careful," she said seriously. "It's going to take quite a bit of planning, I think."

"Morgana, that's not what I meant," he complained.

"Why don't you ask Arthur to assign you some chambers?" she continued as if he hadn't spoken at all. "I'm sure after everything you've done for him he'll be happy to grant you that little favour. Then I can visit you at night and, if anyone sees me in the corridors, I could just say that I was unable to sleep and went for a walk."

"Morgana, you're still not understanding. We can't do this at all. Nothing can happen between us."

"You call this nothing?" she asked, moving closer and kissing him again.

"That's not what I meant," he mumbled around her lips.

"Something has already happened," she continued. "Here tonight in this bed, in Cendred's cell, in this room before, in Gaius' chambers."

"Yes, but ..."

"You don't honestly expect me to let you go now, do you? Not now I've had a taste of you."

"Morgana!"

"Well talk about it more in the morning," she continued, moving back slightly and resting her head on his shoulder, "Now, go back to sleep, you've earned it."

"But, what if we're discovered?"

"You worry too much, Merlin. Sleep."

He quietly scoffed at the though he'd be able to sleep now that she had wound him up so much but, as he looked down at her lying on his shoulder, one hand resting possessively across his chest, he found he didn't have the strength or desire to move and it wasn't long before he felt his eyes growing heavy as the gentle sound and feel of her breathing next to him began to lull him towards sleep.

xoxOxox

"Merlin ..." Morgana's quiet voice woke him up, but her tone was not urgent but soft and passionate. He realised he was pressed up against her back and she was, yet again, wriggling in a delightfully tempting way, pushing her hips back against his. He groaned as he realised how turned on he was in this position and, instead of pulling away as he should, he found himself wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her even closer instead, nuzzling his face into her long hair in order to find her neck to kiss.

She gasped at the move and quickly turned in his arms, one hand against his cheek as she kissed him, whilst the other started to explore below the sheets.

"Morgana," he gasped again, quickly grabbing her wrist before it arrived at its intended destination.

"Please ... I just ..." She moved forwards to kiss him again, both hands on his face this time and he groaned as he struggled with the battle going on between his head and his body, his good manners and his desire. "I want you, Merlin."

He groaned even more at that comment, returning the kiss wholeheartedly and this time not objecting as her hands found their way up his shirt. He knew he would have to stop this very soon, but, he also had to admit that there was part of him that wanted more - despite all common sense - and, for a moment, he even found himself contemplating Morgana's suggestion and debating alternative, safer places, where they could meet up and take things further.

That new chambers idea wasn't bad, except he found himself highly reluctant to leave Gaius right now. Perhaps they could find some other spare room, or maybe he could use his magic to perform some sort of enchantment that would keep them hidden from others. He continued to kiss Morgana and his own hands started to wander along with his imagination as he thought of all the ways he might be able to continue with this relationship in secret, whilst simultaneously protecting Arthur and taking care of their joint destiny. It was then he really did, reluctantly, pull away as he came to the obvious conclusion.

He couldn't.

xoxOxox

Luckily Merlin woke again before Gwen was due to come in and attend to her mistress and, now that they were sleeping on opposite sides of the bed, it was easy enough for him to slide out, straighten his clothes, put on his boots and tip-toe out of the door without waking her. Thankfully there were no guards nearby and he was outside of Arthur's door before he encountered anyone with no reason to feel guilty at all. After all, where else would he be at this time of day?

Well, he would normally be at Gaius' of course, and he was here quite a bit earlier than usual but, other than that, there was no reason for anyone to question his presence. So, he quietly walked to the fire and lit it with magic, before exiting again and going to the kitchens to collect the Prince's breakfast. When he returned, he set the food on the table and laid his armour out quietly before his master woke up and enjoyed seeing his surprised look on discovering that his servant had actually performed his morning duties on time for once. Arthur had then barely started his breakfast when there was a knock on the door.

"Come," the Prince called out.

"Sorry to disturb you, Sire, but I just wondered if you'd seen ..." Gaius stopped mid sentence to stare at his ward. "... Merlin." The old man glared at him and he gave a sheepish grin in response.

"Where else would he be?" Arthur replied with a shrug.

"Well, obviously he shouldn't be anywhere else but here," Gaius replied pointedly.

"Sorry, Gaius, I was just out with Gwaine last night and though it best to sleep on his floor rather than come back and disturb you," Merlin commented casually.

"You were out drinking with Gwaine?" Arthur asked, looking at him suspiciously. "And you still managed to get here on time?"

"I wasn't drinking," he retorted, slightly offended and pointedly avoiding Gaius' very suspicious stare. The physician was another reason why any romantic plans he might have were definitely not going to work and so, trying very hard to keep the pleasant memories of the night spend in Morgana's bed out of his mind, Merlin started to concentrate on his duties.

There was a different atmosphere around Court now. Uther's health was improving rapidly, but Arthur was taking over many of his duties in the short term whilst the three new knights settled in. There were a few grumbles about their inclusion of course but, seeing how much they had assisted in the thwarting of Cenred's plan and the retaking of Camelot, even the most old fashioned Lords were hard-pushed to find legitimate reasons for them not to be kept on - especially as they were now very short of knights and soldiers after the recent troubles.

Here and in other ways, Arthur took full advantage of his temporary leadership and made a few, small but important changes, whilst Merlin felt that his role hadn't changed that much at all. He still couldn't help feeling a little annoyed that he was still 'just' a servant in the eyes of everyone in Camelot when he really was so very much more, but he told himself off for such selfish thoughts – and life threatening thoughts at that.

So, with such a busy day, it was actually fairly easy to forget about ... last night, until Merlin found himself sauntering down 'that' corridor and past 'that' alcove.

"Morgana," he complained as she grabbed his arm and pulled him into the enclosed space with her.

"You left without saying goodbye," she accused.

"Yes, well, it was time for me to work and ..."

"I didn't even get a kiss."

"You got enough of those last night," he disagreed.

"Not really," she replied and, before he knew what was happening, her arms were around him and they were kissing again.

"Not here ..." he gasped, pulling away and looking around nervously.

"Alright. Where?" she asked cheekily and laughed quietly as he glared at her. "Seriously, Merlin, I do want to spend time with you for another reason."

"What reason?"

"I want you to give me some more lessons, of course."

"Oh, you mean magic?"

"Yes, Merlin," she asked with a cheeky grin. "Why? What other lessons were you planning on giving me?"

"Morgana!" But this time he laughed as he said it and she smiled back.

"So, I _have_ been looking for a room for us but, you know, just one with a table and a couple of chairs?" Her expression was an interesting mixture of seriousness and playfulness, as if acknowledging that she perhaps had an ulterior motive, despite her determination to gain more magical knowledge.

"I suppose there's no harm in that," he admitted. "It's just a matter of me finding the time then." Merlin sighed loudly. "Despite what you were saying last night, Arthur doesn't seem to be treating me any differently at all. It's as if all of that Round Table and equality stuff never even happened."

"Well, you're right that he is better than he used to be though," Morgana argued. "Even if I'm still not sure exactly what you and Gwen find quite so appealing about him."

"I suppose he does have a lot on his plate at the moment," Merlin mused. "Looking after Uther, taking on the role of Regent, mediating between his new knights and the lords and … worrying about his relationship with Gwen."

"Well, in that, at least, he has my full understanding," Morgana said. "I just wish things were different already and you and I could openly be together. I mean, once Arthur starts to court Gwen he'd be a total hypocrite if he says you can't do the same for me."

"Perhaps but, I do think it makes a difference that you're a lady and I'm just ..."

"Just what, Merlin? If things were really out in the open, then you'd have far greater authority here. If you're right and Arthur does eventually allow magic back then you'd be his court sorcerer or something – practically a noble and then we can ..." She paused mid sentence and bit her lip.

"What, Morgana?" To his surprise she flushed, suddenly embarrassed.

"Nothing … I'm just saying. He shouldn't be complaining about us being together." Had she really been about to say, 'Get married'? Surely not. Merlin was stunned at how much his heart rate had increased at the thought.

"It's not worth speculating on any of that at the moment," he said with a large sigh. "I'll see what I can do about the lessons though. You try and arrange a place and I'll try to find the time." He frowned for a moment contemplating something before wincing slightly. "I suppose I could try and play Arthur and Gaius off against each other. Tell each that the other needs me at a certain time and hope they don't compare notes?"

"That should work. See if you can persuade Gaius to let you bring me my potion later, and we'll check on the other's progress."

"Alright but, I'm still not sure that this is such a good idea."

"No?" she queried, throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him soundly again. After a while, she pulled away abruptly and grinned at the sight of his pink cheeks and tousled appearance.

"Then again, it's not a totally _bad_ idea either," he admitted sheepishly and she gave a gentle laugh before casually sauntering out of the alcove. After several deep breaths he left too, very deliberately walking off in the opposite direction.

xoxOxox

Morgana had found a small, unused bedchamber in a neglected part of the castle and Merlin arrived to find her sitting at the room's old, rickety table, perched on a cloth that was covering an ancient chair with a rather distasteful look on her face.

"A bit dusty is it, my lady?" he asked cheekily.

"Perhaps you could find some time to come up here and clean it for us?" she asked and then laughed as his horrified reaction.

"I really hope you're joking," he replied, before his expression changed to one of amusement – an interesting idea suddenly occurring to him.

"Oh dear, dare I ask?" Morgana said noting the look.

"You wanted a magic lesson?" He replied his eyebrows raised high and gesturing around the dirty chambers.

"A magic lesson, yes, not a cleaning lesson," she replied, suddenly understanding his idea.

"A magical cleaning lesson," he clarified with a broad grin. "I've learnt all sorts of useful spells over the years, it will be nice to be able to use them openly. So first ..."

"Merlin!" she complained.

"... levitation. Ah …" he looked a little embarrassed. "I'm not sure how easy you'll find this but it's sort of my strongest thing. Have you tried?"

"Yes, Morgause did teach me but … it's been a while," she admitted.

It was an interesting experience for Merlin. Magic was so easy, so instinctive for him that, at first, it was quite challenging to teach Morgana how to do something without sounding patronising or frustrated. However, it was interesting to discover what she found easy and what was difficult for her, especially as her strongest abilities did not seem to match his. Which seemed to imply that each skill was not simply 'harder' or 'easier' but rather suited the individual who was performing them. Which made sense, when he thought about it. Healing magic was hard for him and easy for Gaius, whilst he'd seen the old man struggle with spells recently that he found incredibly simple.

By the end of their lesson, the room was considerably tidier and far less dusty, although there was still plenty of scope for more cleaning lessons the next time that they visited. Morgana looked happier and more relaxed than Merlin had seen her in a long time – her face flushed and a few dirty smudges marking her face. She was grinning broadly, delighted at her success on performing that last spell and he laughed with her, coming closer to gently rub the mark from her nose. He saw the change in her expression just a little too late before she pounced again and he found himself quite powerless to resist, kissing her back passionately.

"I really should be going," he mumbled after quite a long time.

"I know but, at least I have an excuse to get you alone now," she replied.

"Yes, that's what's worrying me, to be honest."

"There's no need. I promise I won't let any harm come to you." She kissed him again, a little more gently this time, and he responded briefly before giving her a shy smile and exiting the room.

xoxOxox

They continued with the lessons whenever Merlin was able to find the time. It wasn't easy; the rare occasions that he might actually find himself at a loose end were usually the times when Morgana was required to play the first lady of Camelot and now, slowly, Uther seemed to be recovering and was regularly asking Arthur and Morgana to dine with him as a result. Merlin was usually serving in this situation and he worried constantly about Morgana's reaction during these meals. Her acting skills seemed very poor to him, her glares and grimaces at Uther's comments just far too obvious.

He tried to broach the subject with her at the start of their next lesson but, as he feared, she didn't take kindly to his comments.

"How can you say that?" she shouted. "How can you side with that … that monster?"

"I'm not siding with him," he disagreed. "I agree with you as it happens but, you can't say those things – not to him and not in the way you did. He won't change his mind about magic, Morgana. It doesn't matter how much you shout at him … in fact, shouting at him about it just hardens his heart further. It is too late for Uther to change and so you're just going to have to be patient, bide your time and help me to make Arthur understand what's at stake."

"That's all very well for you to say. I'm not like you, I'm not so calm and … spineless?"

"Spineless?" he replied, suddenly angry himself. "Are you _seriously_ using that word to describe me? Me!" He rarely acknowledged his power in this way – he wasn't usually able to, after all, but his change of attitude did seemed to make an instant impression on Morgana and she suddenly turned pale – perhaps seeing something of Emrys in him and belatedly remembering that he wasn't really a weak and powerless servant, despite appearances.

"Merlin, I ..." The rare anger fuelled him further, and he moved forward aggressively, resulting in her backing up until she found the wall. She held her hands up towards him, half protective, half appeasing and he grabbed her wrists fairly gently, trying to calm himself as he saw something close to fear in her eyes. Feeling a bit foolish and more than a little guilty, he apologised the only way he could think of; by kissing her, and their remaining anger towards each other ensured that it wasn't especially gentle. He was still holding her wrists quite firmly as he pressed her up against the wall and Morgana, feeling unusually helpless against this passionate onslaught, ended up using her legs to attack back, hooking one around his knee and pulling hard, unbalancing him.

It was both fortunate and unfortunate that the room they were in was once someone's old chambers, because that meant there was a bed set up against the very wall they were kissing against; bigger than his, even if it was considerably more modest than the ones Morgana and Arthur slept in. Her attack had them both falling onto it, her on top of him and the kissing continued with no pause, her hands quickly up his shirt, his caressing every part of her he could reach. The remaining anger fizzled out quickly as the passion took over.

"Morgana … we must … the lesson ..." he gasped out between kisses.

"I like this lesson better," she retorted, "I'm discovering all sorts of interesting things." Merlin yelped as her hands continued their exploration but, other than that, he made no attempt to finish their game, continuing to kiss and play a little longer before slowing the pace down gradually, rather than attempting to pull away abruptly. It worked to a certain extent, with the two of them now turned on their sides, gently kissing whilst Merlin tried very, very hard to calm himself and not let his body rule his head.

What was worrying him at the moment though was that, whilst Morgana seemed quite happy to slow the pace down too, there was this subtle, predatory look in her eyes that made him think that she was simply biding her time - waiting until he was at his most vulnerable before striking.

That thought was both terrifying and also very, very exciting.

xoxOxox

Their lessons were becoming more and more sparse. Merlin really did want to meet with Morgana for teaching, but he thought that perhaps Gaius suspected that something more romantic was happening and was trying to thwart his plans to arrange free time. Or perhaps Arthur really had forgotten what he'd said around that Round Table and still considered his servant to be the practical slave he was a few years ago. Either way, Merlin found that the Prince's chores were taking almost all of his time and he was getting to see less and less of Morgana. To make matters worse, every time he did see her nowadays she appeared quiet and withdrawn, her complexion pale and the pathetic looks she threw his way just made him feel even more guilty about neglecting her.

"I wish we could see each other more often," she complained quietly during their next session.

"I know."

"I just get so bored. So frustrated and ..."

"I understand."

"No, Merlin, I don't think you do. The life of a noblewoman is dull at the best of times but, when you're like me; when needlework holds no interest, and speculating about your future husband and all the children you're going to gift him with seems like a sick joke, well, that just makes things even worse."

"What do you mean? You can still have that life, if you want it."

"I'm not sure I _do_ want it but, even if I did ..." She sighed. "I'm not like them, Merlin, I don't think I ever was. I'm far too strong willed and independent, as Uther is so keen to point out to me on a daily basis, but now ... now that I have seen what else I could have, now that 'ordinary' life seems even less exciting than it ever did before."

"What else could you have?" he asked nervously.

"Magic. A life with magic. These times with you are the highlight of my week and not just because I enjoy your company or your kisses." She gave him a small smile which he returned shyly. "When we're in here, playing with our magic, exploring, laughing, I can't help but wonder what it might be like if our life was like that all the time. Every day, any time we wished."

"Yes ..."

Merlin admitted that he hadn't really thought about it like that. Unlike Morgana he didn't get a chance to be bored in-between lessons but, like her, he realised how excited he got as the time for these sessions approached and, as she said, that excitement had very little to do with the more romantic or passionate parts of their meetings.

"And, part of me … the old part of me, somehow thought that things would be different once we'd defeated Cenred," she continued. "I thought that maybe Arthur would take over, or that Uther might see sense after everything he'd been through. I even thought that you might start to agree with me and we could find a way to overthrow the King together."

"Morgana!"

"Yes, I know. I don't think that now, at least ..." She sighed. "I supposed I really am just resigned to waiting but … Merlin, I don't think I can do that _here_."

"What do you mean? I don't understand."

"I can't live like this any more. I can't be Uther's loving ward and I'm tired of all the acting. This isn't me, it never was and I'm still … wrong."

"Sorry? What do you mean, _you're_ wrong?"

"Most of the important things were put back on track. None of my nightmares have the sense of urgency they once did but, I still see that other universe, you know? Still see what is different between that world and this."

"We didn't fix it entirely? " he asked curiously. "What do you see? What's different?"

"Me," she answered quietly, looking up at Merlin with tear-filled eyes. "Well, I see Morgause still alive, barely, and I see Uther's health getting slowly worse rather than better but, other than that, it's just … me. I shouldn't be here. I don't belong."

"Morgana, don't say that. Of course you belong. I know you don't like Uther, but he still dotes on you. Then there's Arthur and, well, you know what he's like about expressing his feelings but I dare you to deny that he loves you."

"I know that true, but all these lessons have proved to me is how much I want magic in my life, how much I _need_ it."

"I really am sorry that I've been so busy," Merlin apologised. "I promise that I'll try and find some more free time but it's just that ..."

"No, I understand. It's not your fault and, even if you could arrange an hour with me every single day, it would just be one hour, in secret, hiding here and breaking the law right under the King's nose, putting your life in danger far more than mine and … I can't do this any more."

"We _can_ work this out, Morgana. I'll help you, just as I always have."

"You really are far too good to me, Merlin but … I was thinking of finding the Druids again. Learning from them. Biding my time until … you get around to sorting out this destiny thing of yours and Arthur's." Merlin smiled at the comment but shook his head in denial.

"You know that won't work, Morgana. You know what happened before. Twice now, Uther has dropped everything, scoured the countryside, killed anyone he thought was getting in his way, just to ensure that you were found and brought back home. There is nothing you can say or do to persuade him that it's your idea, and leaving secretly will just put everyone in Camelot in far more danger than if you stayed." She looked up at him again, her face pale and her expression utterly defeated and it broke Merlin's heart to see it. "I promise I'll try to find more time," he continued. "If these sessions make you happy, then that's what I'll do. Whatever it takes.

"You're right, of course. As usual I didn't think things through," she admitted after a long pause. "It just seemed so simple, so perfect but, I'm a prisoner here - now more than I ever was before. Meanwhile, at night-time, I dream of that other me, the one who, despite being so ruthless, is still free and comfortable with herself and somehow … belongs in her world."

"I'm sorry."

"I know. It's not your fault. Come, these sessions are supposed to be cheering me up. Teach me something fun, warlock, and help me take my mind off my troubles."

"Yes, my lady," he replied with a grin.

He worked hard to cheer her up but, although she readily put on a smile for him, Merlin could still see the heartbreak behind her eyes, see the uncharacteristic defeated look on her face. As such, it was he who initiated the kiss at the end of their lesson, he who moved her toward the bed and worked hard to kiss and touch all those places that he knew she liked and hoped would help her to forget the pain. They were still being fairly well behaved; their clothes staying on, despite explorations beneath onto tempting pale skin, and Merlin found that this session was the most enjoyable he'd experienced in so many ways, with her too distracted to push him into the realms of indiscretion, and him able to enjoy everything they were doing far more as a result.

"I'm sorry, Merlin," she said as they made to leave the room a little later.

"About what?"

"My outburst earlier. Forget what I said, you were quite right … as always."

"Well, I don't know about that. I've made my fair share of mistakes over the years."

"Perhaps but … if you _could_ find some more spare time – if there is some way I can help to persuade Arthur?"

"I'm not sure about that but, as I said, I will try very hard to find more time and, seeing you've now confessed to me that you're still getting nightmares, I'll try and persuade Gaius to let me take your medicine to you again too."

"Will he trust you? Does he still suspect?"

"Yes, he does, and he did ask about the missing time but, I've told him something close to the truth, that you asked for magic lessons and I'm teaching you. Any more than that he just has to trust that I'm being a perfect gentleman." He gave an embarrassed shrug.

"Well you are misbehaving a little," she admitted, "but not nearly enough for my liking." It was nice that they were able to end today's session giggling and relaxed after their fight at the start.

xoxOxox

The conversation with Morgana had worried Merlin, and so he went out of his way to check up on her more often during the next couple of days, deciding that keeping her on side was now falling under his 'destiny' duties anyway, and that he couldn't just hope for the best as far as she was concerned. He said as much to Gaius when the old man initially complained about Merlin taking Morgana her nightly medicine, and he would stay with her just long enough to throw a few jokes her way or indulge in few short, fairly chaste kisses, just to prove that he wasn't neglecting her.

Finding a decent amount of time for their next lesson was proving to be far more of a challenge though. Arthur often arranged hunting trips where he could have probably agreed not to have his 'useless' manservant tag along but, as tempting as that offer might be, Merlin did not feel inclined to let the Prat out of his sight at the best of times, never mind if he was going on a journey outside of Camelot's walls. However, in the end, it was Morgana who came up with the perfect plan.

The King had recently started to resume more of his usual duties but, fairly typically, he'd done a little too much, too soon, and had a minor relapse. Gaius then insisted that Uther spent an afternoon resting in his chambers and Morgana had quickly taken full advantage of the situation and suggested to Arthur that this was the ideal opportunity for her brother to spend the afternoon with Gwen, which would then leave his servant free to come up to their room for their usual magic lesson.

Except, Morgana's plan, typically, had been considerably more complex than Merlin had first realised.

xoxOxox

"Right," said Merlin breezily as he walked into their room. "Today, I've got some great ideas and I think you're really going to ..." His sentence was cut short by Morgana flying at him and throwing her arms around his neck.

"I really missed you," she mumbled into his shoulder.

"Ah …?"

"I'm glad we've got longer than usual," she said as she pulled back, her face still pale but the smile far more genuine than he'd seen of late.

"Yes, we should be able to get plenty done," he started to agree. Again, she moved forward, stood on her tip-toes and kissed him very, very gently. Merlin was too stunned by this exceptionally romantic kiss to object. In so many ways this was far more thrilling than their usual, aggressive clinches and he revelled in the feel of her lips on his and the way her hands gently stroked his shoulders and neck before moving up to his hair. He placed her hands on her waist and moved them slightly and she gasped in response, throwing her head back and exposing her beautiful white neck to him. Far too tempting. He bowed his head down and kissed her pulse point.

"What perfume are you wearing?" he asked, licking his lips. "It tastes like … apple." He ducked back down and gently licked, causing her to giggle. "You taste like fruit," he said with a laugh of his own.

"Silly," she teased him as he went back and sucked a little more, waiting for her to scold him about potentially leaving a mark. This just felt so good and all thoughts of their magical lesson quickly left him as he continued to explore her neck, collar bones and the area of her skin just above the front of her bodice that, he now realised, was far lower than she normally wore. Slowly her hands started to explore too, sliding under his shirt as they often did, this familiar action now seemed to be having a far greater effect on him than usual, and prompting him to initiate a more passionate kiss as he allowed his hands to wander to the front of her dress, caressing her confidently. She pulled away slightly and looked into his eyes deeply. He tried to read her expression; thinking perhaps he'd gone a bit too far, but could only see desire there, along with his own reflecting back at him. All he could think about now was Morgana and how beautiful she was.

She nodded then, as if coming to a decision.

"Yes, Merlin. I know what you want," she whispered, her voice like honey. Then, to his total surprise, she lifted her hands up and lowered the straps off her shoulders. Her dress slid down to pool around her feet and Morgana stood there in front of him, totally naked.

Merlin remembered very little from that point on. By the time he'd moved her to the bed, his own clothes were also on the floor and, other than that, it was just exploration of soft, pale skin, with their hands touching, stroking and caressing, and her lips apparently determined to explore every inch of his body. Any fear of discovery, any thought of impropriety seemed to have completely disappeared from his mind. All Merlin wanted now was Morgana, and it was apparent that the kisses and touches were no longer going to be enough for either of them. He rolled on top of her and she welcomed him, mumbling his name and encouraging him to travel the road that he'd promised himself he would never journey down with her.

He felt strangely tired and light headed immediately afterwards, with the memory of his name on her lips, called out desperately and passionately as they'd both succumbed, still fresh in his mind. He managed to find just enough energy to lie back down and pull her close, his arms now wrapped around her, whilst her hands gently stroked his hair.

"Morgana ..." he sighed, surprised at just how tired he was feeling.

"Yes, I know, Merlin. Sleep now."

"Hmm."

"I really am very, very sorry."

As sleep took him, he couldn't help thinking what a strange thing that was for her to say to him, considering the circumstances.

XoxOxox

* * *

**_A/N: _**_After my last couple of Mergana fics, I had to keep reminding myself that this was only T not M - I hope I got it right.  
_

_This was going to be just one extra chapter, but it was getting SO long. Splitting it initially made chapter 8 a little short but I think that's sorted now. However, even as I was first writing this I couldn't help thinking that this point made a perfect chapter end. Well, you know how mean I can be sometimes?  
_

_So, I've still got one extra scene to add to chapter 8 but, other than that, it's done and should be out fairly soon.  
_

_14/2/12_


	8. Chapter 8

_To 'theuntitled,' Hey, no need to threaten violence, my dear. You only had to ask nicely – lol!_

* * *

**Chapter 8**

"No!"

Merlin sat bolt upright, as if woken from a nightmare and then blinked for a moment as he tried to get his bearings. He was in bed in their teaching chambers, naked and alone, with the light filtering in through the partially covered window suggesting that most of the afternoon had already gone. He looked around the room frantically, feeling groggy and confused, and wrestling with the idea that he'd missed something very important.

"Morgana?"

There was no reply which just made him even more worried. Perhaps she'd regretted their actions soon after and had left, unable to face him? That might make some sense but, Merlin felt there was more to it than that. He allowed his mind to wander back to earlier, surprised and almost annoyed at how vague his memories were.

Not _that_ vague though and, after a sudden worry about his own shocking lack of control, he found himself starting to smile, remembering the kisses, the passion and … the rest. Had she really regretted it and - the memory suddenly returned - what had she meant when she'd apologised as he fell asleep? Not for seducing him, surely, he hadn't been _that_ unwilling, after all. But no, he hadn't imagined it, she had said, 'I really am very, very sorry …' and the regret in her voice … the genuine upset. How had he not heard that before?

Muttering an uncharacteristic swear word under his breath, Merlin quickly got up and dressed, desperately trying not to think any more about that most incredible afternoon and focus on the here and now. It was late – later than it should be and it was more than likely that his absence had already been noticed. He'd had only walked a short distance into the more well used part of the castle before he heard Arthur's familiar voice, and very familiar tone.

"Merlin, where the hell have you been?"

"I ah …?"

"We've been looking for you everywhere."

"I had some chores to do and then I … well, I was a bit tired and fell asleep," he admitted, deciding that keeping as close to the truth as possible was probably the best idea. Even if what he'd been doing with Morgana this afternoon could in no way be described as a chore. He bit back a grin at the thought. Now was not the time.

"Gaius is frantic. We all are," Arthur continued.

"Why? What's happened?" Merlin asked, suddenly aware of the desperation in his friend's voice.

"It's Father he's ..." Merlin suddenly focused entirely on the Prince and saw what he'd just missed, the hint of tears in his eyes, despite his apparently stern countenance.

"Arthur, what's happened?"

"We don't know. I went to see him after my afternoon with Guinevere and … and he was … raving again. Not making any sense and far worse than he was after we retook the castle. So, I fetched Gaius who started to calm him down, tried to make some sense of what he was saying before sending me off to look for you. Where were you?" It was rare to hear such desperation in the Prince's voice.

"Where are they now?" Merlin continued, ignoring the question.

"In the King's chambers. Gaius says he needs your help, perhaps to get some medicine or sit with Father whilst he ..." He stopped mid sentence and gave a helpless shrug. Merlin gave a firm nod and headed off in that direction and, after a moment's pause, the Prince followed.

They arrived to find Uther sitting up in bed, his face pale, his eyes wide and his mouth constantly working as he muttered to himself. Gaius was just putting a goblet back down on the side, apparently having just administered some medicine to calm the King down.

"Merlin, at last. Where have you been?" the old man said.

"What's happened?"

"I'm not entirely sure. He was raving so much when I first arrived that I couldn't make any sense out of it at all. I'll give that potion a little bit longer to work and then we'll try to find out what has happened. Could you make out anything, Arthur?"

"Only that he was asking for Morgana," the Prince replied. "I sent Guinevere off to look for her."

To Merlin's annoyance, Gaius turned an accusing look to him. "I don't suppose you've seen her, have you?" the old man asked.

"Not for a couple of hours, no," he replied calmly, again allowing the truth of the statement to show. He hoped. Gaius was annoyingly good at seeing right through him, especially as far as Morgana was concerned.

"Father?" Arthur asked, sitting next to Uther and automatically leaning forward to check on him. Suddenly the King's eyes snapped to his son's and he moved quickly grabbing the front of the Prince's shirt.

"It can't be true, it can't be. I _won't_ believe it ..." he hissed.

"Father, you have to tell me what happened."

"No, no. It's impossible. It can't be ..."

"What can't be?"

"She wouldn't, she isn't … it's not true."

Merlin suddenly started to feel nervous. Was he possibly talking about …? The main door opened then to admit a worried looking Gwen.

"I can't find her anywhere," she admitted. "No-one's seen her for a couple of hours now." Merlin's heart started to pound, fear and worry suddenly gripping him. He licked his lips nervously and then paused, again made aware of the last vestiges of a strange taste.

_Apple? _

The memory returned. Had Morgana planned rather more than a magic lesson when she'd arranged this whole afternoon? Had he been wrong to trust her? Was she still acting against him, despite everything she'd promised?

"Morgana was here with you, wasn't she, Sire?" Merlin asked, moving forward into Uther's eye line.

"No, no. It couldn't have been her. It must have been a trick. It must have been sorcery … she wouldn't … she couldn't have ..."

"What? What did she say?"

"Magic ..." It was almost a whisper and Merlin exchanged a wide-eyed worried look with Gaius.

"What did she … do?" he asked, re-phrasing the question.

"She said she had magic … showed me … but, it couldn't be her – it has to be a trick. My Morgana would never ..."

"What did she do, Sire?" Merlin pushed.

"Used magic, right in front of me. Attacked me – laughed, said ..." He swallowed hard. "Said things that made no sense." He shook his head violently. "No sense at all."

"She's gone, hasn't she?" Merlin sighed, but it wasn't really a question. He now had a fairly good idea of what had happened this afternoon.

"Gone? Gone where?" Arthur asked.

"Merlin?" Gaius asked, aware that he knew more than he was letting on. He looked up to find three pairs of eyes or staring at him, whist Uther continued to mutter, 'Can't be true … won't believe it … Not Morgana ...'

"She's not been happy for a while. Ever since we took Camelot back she's been ..." Merlin fought for a way to describe the situation without implicating himself in any way.

"... distracted." Gwen finished for him and he nodded. "Yes, she's not been herself for some time," she continued, "and, even when she was here with Cenred, something about her attitude was strange, as if she was … two different people somehow." Merlin tried not to show amusement at the comment, which was far more true than Gwen could have possibly realised.

"Merlin …?" Gaius continued in a warning tone.

"Just something she said in passing the other night when I gave her her medicine. I didn't think much of it as she was obviously tired and … irritable, but she was complaining about how bored she was, how useless she felt here now."

"Why didn't she come to me?" Arthur asked. "I could have helped."

"Perhaps, perhaps not," Merlin responded. "We all know her … secret now don't we?" He flashed a nervous look at the King. "Uther didn't but ..." Arthur and Gwen both nodded. "I think she's feeling isolated and fearful and … I think she's gone looking for others … like her."

"Yes, yes," Uther suddenly interrupted. "That's what she said." He gave a rather maniacal laugh. "Ridiculous … she belongs here and those with magic will not welcome someone like her."

"I'm not so sure about that," Merlin disagreed.

"But, she _can't_ have magic."

"I'm sorry, Father but, she does," Arthur explained.

"How do you know this? Why did you not tell me?" Arthur gave the others a slightly exasperated look as the King's own reaction explained why nothing had been said before. Merlin knew that Arthur had simply tried to forget that one fact since they returned - choosing to pretend it wasn't true and that he wasn't disobeying his Father's first law by allowing his sister to stay here unchallenged.

"You said she attacked you with magic?" Arthur asked the King.

"She held out a hand and her eyes flashed gold and …" Uther shook his head, genuine fear on his face now. "It couldn't have been Morgana, couldn't have been _my_ Morgana … she would never have done such a thing to me – I know she wouldn't."

"I'll grab some knights and go after her," Arthur suddenly decided heading toward the door.

"No!" Merlin shouted and then dropped his head as everyone stared at his outburst. "I mean, what will that achieve? She quite obviously arranged this meeting with Uther to ensure that he wouldn't go looking for her as he has in the past."

"You mean to say, she decided to … be this cruel … just to make her point?" Merlin just shrugged, surprised that Arthur would think that out of character. To him, the idea now made perfect sense.

"I think Merlin could be right," Gaius admitted. "She has battled with fear and uncertainly about her magic for years."

"You're suggesting I just let her go?" the Prince asked incredulously. "You're suggesting we do … nothing?"

"I agree with Merlin. I think she was very unhappy here," Gwen said then. "If this will make her happy, if she can be with her own kind then, perhaps we should leave her?"

"Her own kind is here," Arthur insisted. "Her family, her life is _here_."

"Morgana doesn't agree," Merlin said quietly. "She hasn't felt that way for … a long time now."

"Oh, and how would you know about that, _Mer_lin?" He just shrugged. "Well, it's dark now," the Prince admitted, "So we can't do anything until morning anyway. You'll stay with Father, Gaius?"

"Of course, Sire and it would be helpful if I could keep Merlin here with me for a while?"

"Yes, I suppose ..." The Prince moved back over to the bed, squeezed his father's shoulder firmly and then marched out of the door. After an embarrassed shrug, Gwen quickly followed him.

"Well?" Gaius asked when they'd left. Merlin didn't need to look at the old man to know exactly what his expression would be and exactly where his eyebrow would be at the moment. He tried hard not to smile at the thought.

"I pretty much told them the truth," he said as they moved away from the King into the adjoining chamber.

"Pretty much?"

"Well, you know the rest," he said. "She's been especially bored and frustrated and used this afternoon as an excuse to arrange another magic lesson with me."

"And …?" Merlin quickly tried to work out a way to tell Gaius the next bit without incriminating himself. He certainly couldn't say that she'd laced her _neck_ with a sedative. "I think she put something in my drink," he said instead. "It tasted a bit like … apple."

"Apple? Are you sure?"

"Well, a bit sharper than that perhaps but … it did have a sweet, fruit-like taste. She obviously set up the whole thing to make sure everyone else was occupied and then planned to put me to sleep so that she would have enough time to see Uther."

"Really, Merlin? is that _all_ she did to get you out of the way?"

"Ah, yes …?" he responded nervously. "Why do you ask?"

"Only, what you're describing to me would certainly have the _after-effect_ of knocking someone out but ..."

"What do you mean … after-effect?"

"The low after the high?" the old man continued, with a far too knowing look on his face.

"Gaius? What exactly did she give me?"

"Well it sounds like an aphrodisiac, Merlin. Not an exceptionally powerful one, I admit, but then I don't imagine you would need a strong incentive in relation to Morgana, would you?"

"You mean she … she actually, deliberately …?" Merlin felt his face flame red with annoyance as much as embarrassment.

"Well, you're right that she obviously did plan this whole thing very carefully," Gaius continued and Merlin assumed from his tone that the old man wouldn't be asking anything more, and probably wouldn't blame him anyway, considering the circumstances.

"Yes," he replied in a sulky tone.

"You hinted that she'd been talking about running away before?"

"Yes, she quite openly told me she wanted to go and find the Druids and I thought I'd changed her mind, reminding her off all the lengths Uther had gone to last time to find her again."

"So, she took your advice on board and decided to ensure that the King wouldn't have any reason to fetch her back?"

"Apparently."

The pair looked up suddenly as the door burst open and Arthur stormed in, waving a piece of paper at them.

"She left me a note," he said, with a glare. "She says she's left one for Guinevere too."

"What else does it say?" Merlin asked.

"Pretty much what you already guessed," he admitted. "Along with a few promises about the future, some soppy words of encouragement and a plea for me not to try to find her."

"Give her time and she might change her mind, Arthur," Merlin said, suddenly distracted as he wondered if Morgana had left him a letter too. "Perhaps it's just something she needs to do - a quest, if you like. Maybe after she's found what she's looking for she'll be happy to come back home?"

"Yes, that's what she implies here but, Merlin, I'm worried about how she'll cope. A lady of Court as she is, out in the wilds … in the company of … people like that."

"Morgana can take care of herself, as you well know," Merlin countered. "She could do so even before she knew she had magic. She'll be fine."

"I suppose … hang on, what do you mean by that? Knew she had magic? I assumed it was something she learnt deliberately – as a way to get her own back on Father somehow."

"Magic isn't like that, Sire," Gaius explained. "Admittedly, most people won't know if they have the ability until they try to use it but some, like Morgana, are so naturally powerful that they can't help but use it, even if they try not to." Merlin bit his lip, realising just how important this conversation was.

"Really?"

"That's why she's been acting as she has, Arthur," Merlin continued carefully. "She didn't want to have magic and then, when she realised she couldn't control it, she was scared; scared of what Uther would do if he ever found out."

"So, you're saying that I should just let her go? That I really shouldn't try to find her?"

"Perhaps this is the best thing for her at the moment," Gaius said. Arthur held his gaze for several long moments before giving a curt nod and quickly turned on his heel to leave the room. Merlin started to follow.

"Where are you going, Merlin? I need you here," the old man continued. The warlock stopped and allowed the Prince to continue down the corridor before turning back to his mentor.

"I'm sorry, Gaius but I was going to check ..." He ducked his head, embarrassed. "I need to see if she's left me a note too."

"Ah." The old physician's expression suddenly softened. "Of course but, don't be long will you? I have work for you to do." Merlin gave a curt nod of his own and left.

**Two Hours Earlier**

Morgana lay in bed, for some reason quite unable to move in order to put the next part of her plan into operation. Next to her Merlin gave a contented sigh as he finally succumbed to sleep. "Morgana ..." he mumbled.

The way he whispered her name sent shivers down her spine. Alright, so she hadn't actually _needed_ to seduce Merlin to get him out of the way; a strong sedative would have had much the same effect, but she'd decided that, if she was going to leave and give up all rights to her title, then she might as well get some of the benefits in the process. Or rather, _one_ particular benefit, and she knew from their previous encounters with Merlin that he was going to be far too much of a gentleman for such a thing to happen without a little help.

She had assumed that the act was going to be pleasurable, she had guessed that it might be quite fun but … that? She honestly had no idea just how incredible it was going to feel to have him inside her and that what she had experienced with Merlin would now be making her so emotionally attached to him that she really was struggling to find any sort of will to leave him.

But then, as he was always so keen to point out, she really couldn't stay here and be the Lady Morgana _and_ continue such an intimate relationship with a servant. It would mean an almost certain death sentence for him, and he was not currently of a high enough station for her to claim him in any other way. She sighed, knowing that she had to go now or she never would. If she stayed here for much longer, she would not be able to keep away from him and that would put him in danger. She started to pull away but Merlin suddenly grumbled in his sleep and held her tightly, pulling her even closer towards him and preventing her from leaving. As she briefly relaxed back into his embrace, his frown turned into a small, contented smile as he nuzzled closer to her and she tried not to laugh at his reaction.

"Idiot," she whispered affectionately moving her head to kiss him gently on the lips. After another few moments she tried again, gently moving until he eventually relaxed his hold on her, before slipping quietly out of bed and quickly dressing herself.

So, hopefully Arthur would still be occupied with Gwen, and Gaius would be on his afternoon rounds. Still, she did need to keep an eye out for the old man seeing that he was obviously highly suspicious of her motives and could possibly be caring for the King now anyway. Luckily Morgana was able to navigate her way to Uther's chambers without meeting anyone of importance. As she approached his room, she saw the usual two guards outside and with a broad smile, she raised a hand, chanted a few words and the two of them quickly crumbled to the floor, fast asleep.

"Thanks for that spell, Merlin," she grinned, walking into the room to find the King awake and sitting in his usual place by the window. He turned to see who it was and afforded her with a huge smile.

"Morgana, my child. How good of you to visit me."

"I've come to say goodbye," she responded haughtily.

"I don't understand."

"Do you not remember the conversation we had just before I left with the ransom, Uther?" the King frowned and then shook his head.

"I told you not to go."

"Actually, at the time, we were talking about your decision to go ahead with an execution whilst you were at war with Cenred. We were talking about how you sent your only son out on some silly quest, whilst continuing to refuse to acknowledge … your daughter." Uther's eyes went wide and he shook his head.

"No, just a nightmare – didn't happen."

"What our conversation or you bedding your best friend's wife?" she asked cruely.

"Morgana, you should not use such language." She laughed then, briefly wondering if she should mention the fact that she was no longer an innocent young girl – especially after this afternoon but, it wasn't worth the risk, even if it would be certain to help the King to disown her completely.

"So, I'm leaving, Uther. I'm going to find people like me. People who understand what I'm going through and can teach me what I need to know."

"What, what are you on about, child?"

"I have magic, Uther."

"What? No, that's …. impossible."

"Why?"

"You wouldn't learn such an evil practice, not when you've seen what it's done to Camelot."

"Don't presume to know me, Uther," she snarled. "You have no idea what I would or would not do. How interesting that you choose only to hear and remember what suits you. You don't recall me telling you how much I hated you?"

"No!" He shook his head frantically.

"You don't recall me saying time after time that I didn't believe that half the people you executed were actually guilty of magic?" He shook his head again. "You know so little about me that you think I wouldn't have gone out of my way to learn something just to spite you?"

"You wouldn't have ..." His voice turned a little firmer. "You wouldn't have dared."

"Well, perhaps you're right about that, but then, I didn't _learn_ magic, Uther, it was something I was born with."

"Impossible."

"Really? Arthur's a great warrior, but do you really think that's all down to the training? Don't you think that some of it was down to the skills he was born with."

"Just proper training," he muttered. "Anyone could … even you showed some skill with the blade."

"What about someone like … that skinny servant of his? What if Merlin had started training at seven?"

"A servant – a nobody."

"Even then, I doubt he would have had the same skill – he was not destined to have _that_ talent. I have magic, Uther, it's been building within me for many years now." She held up a hand and chanted a spell then, creating her own version of the glowing ball that Merlin had taught her. Hers was green, currently flashing with sharp, white lights deep within it, and she sent it towards Uther with a delighted laugh as she made it spin around his head several times until he was crouched on the floor by his chair, almost crying with fear.

"No … I can't believe it, I won't. It's just my sickness, that's all. This is not real."

"Oh, believe me, Uther, this is all very real. I have magic, I'm going to leave to find somewhere were I can study it properly, and you are _not_ to send anyone after me."

"No," he said, suddenly a little firmer. "I won't allow it … guards!"

"Sorry, Uther but I cast a spell over them and they're now fast asleep." The look of shock on his face was priceless and she laughed out loud at it.

"I-I don't understand what you expect to achieve by this, Morgana. Your place is here."

"No, it isn't. Not any more. I will leave here and come back when your son is King. In the future, Arthur will welcome me back with open arms and I will be acknowledged by him as his sister and his court priestess."

"Arthur would _never_ consort with sorcerers."

"Really, are you sure? Why would he not when his father did?" Uther's eyes went wide.

"Ah you remember that now, don't you? You remember me telling you that I heard you beg Gaius to save me with magic."

"I could not let you die and it worked. Nothing else would have saved your life."

"Yes," she agreed. "Magic did save my life that day and yet still you hunted down other sorcerers whilst promising to keep Gaius safe."

"I'm sorry, I had to."

"And that's not the whole story, is it, Uther? I've now worked it out, you know? Worked out why you were so scared when I accidentally mentioned 'magic' and 'Arthur' in the same sentence."

"Morgana … please, he _can't_ know," Uther pleased, head back down as he huddled against his chair.

"Using magic so that you could have a son when you already had a daughter who could take over Camelot on your death?"

"Camelot needed a legitimate heir."

"I am older than him, I have skills that he does not. If he was first born, or naturally born or if you didn't know of my existence - perhaps then I might understand but – having a child already and refusing to acknowledge her in such a way?"

"Please you don't understand, you're twisting everything."

"Now you know what it feels like. I'll be watching you, Uther and if you pursue me ... if you harm one single person in the quest to find me, then I will make you regret it for the rest of your, hopefully, very short life."

"You cannot go. Morgana … please … Guards!" Uther scrambled to his feet, holding his arms out to her, half pleading, half defensive and so, with a large sigh, Morgana raised a hand towards him and pushed, her eyes flashing gold.

The King of Camelot flew through the air and landed in an undignified heap on top of the royal bed.

"Oh Uther," Morgana said with a sad sigh. "Why do you never, ever listen."

xoxOxox

_To my dearest Merlin,_

_Sorry._

_I thought I'd say that straight away and get it over and done with. Otherwise I'd be writing it every other word and that would just get boring, wouldn't it? I could also list all the reasons why I did what I did but I know there's no need. You know me better than I know myself and so you know why … even if I suspect that you still don't fully understand._

_I just wanted to repeat what I said the other day. I _have_ to do this. I have to do this in the same way as we had to put the future back on the right path. I'm not supposed to be in Camelot right now - it just feels wrong to me and so, in many ways, I had no choice at all and the decision was an easy one._

_Or, at least, it would have been a very easy decision if not for one thing. _

_You. _

_Leaving you is the only thing I regret, especially after this afternoon. I never believed for a moment that being with you would feel that good and being so close to you would feel so right and … I'm going to miss you._

_However, don't think for one moment that this is goodbye. Even if it wasn't for this afternoon I would want to see you again and now, after that … Well, as I said before, now I've had a taste of you there's no way I'm letting you go._

_I hope that you understand. I think you do – at least partially. I think you know that, despite the seduction, despite my feelings for you, the magic is more important to me than any relationship we may have. _

_That is my priority in the same way as Arthur is yours. It took me a while to accept that but, I do. I know that he will always come first for you and … I understand. _

_As you said, all we can do now is hope for a better time when Arthur becomes King. A time when magic is allowed and our kind is free. So I leave Camelot in your capable hands, my dearest warlock. Just make sure you hold true to your side of the bargain. Make sure you get Arthur to bring magic back soon, so that I can come back too. _

_With all my love,_

_Morgana._

xoxOxox

* * *

**A/N**. _I'm reluctant to say, 'The End' because this fic seems to have taken on a soap-like quality and it is quite likely that this will be re-opened again in the future.  
_

_This last pair of chapters has had two aims. To give you more serious Mergana sexiness, and to move the plot forward to a place where I might be able to continue this AU story-line in the future. I _think_ I know where the writers are going – Certainly I've agreed with their character/plot development 95% of the time - and so, if that's the case and we're heading in the same direction then ... this could well take off again. We'll see ;)_

_As most of you know, I've a number of loose ends to tie up in various fics at the moment and am working through them all as quickly as possible before another 'big new idea' hits me and puts me off-track again. Saying that, do let me know your thoughts about the future of this fic, the other stuff I'm working on, or any new ideas you have for me. I'll consider them all and put them on my 'to-do' list if they get the plot bunnies hopping._

_Thanks_

_Jaq_


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